Happy Thursday to all. Another lovely cool morning here. Enjoying it all while I can - as it all changes this weekend. Higher temps and humidity come back. Next week looks to be mid 90's F. I knew summer wasn't done. It is what it is - I am just thankful it is not below freezing and snow and ice!
We all have an image in our heads when we hear the words wealth and luxury. They are generic images that we have been taught.
I am here to say those are NO longer what I think of when I hear those words. It is time we change our views of those words and that in turn will change lives!
You ladies (and guys) just starting on this journey, need to realize all is not what it appears. The notions that you have been taught for years are skewed. Us folks that have been at this 'frugal' journey or simpler lifestyle see wealth and luxury as something different - and it sure is lovely on this side.
I live in a small 2-bedroom bungalow. Have been here in this neighborhood for 38 years. Homes are close to each other and there is noise from close by major roads. I have become accustomed to the noise, as I don't really hear it - I hear nature. YES, I still have lots of nature around. My neighbors and I keep an eye on each other and help each other when we can. I can still garden and enjoy my yard. I have had my home paid for, for years! It didn't cost a fortune - it needed some work and updates which we did. My car is a 2002 Blazer - and still looks decent and gets me around just fine. I have a savings account and I have investments to help with my future.
THAT is WEALTH and LUXURY to me!!!!!
I know we all work hard (or did) to get what we are told is the 'dream' when we get older. I tried that, as did a lot of others here. Yeah, well, for a lot of us, that 'dream' changed.
If you are starting out, PLEASE don't be blindsided to think that stuff makes a life. It doesn't. You can drive around every day in fancy, smancy neighborhoods and see tons of empty homes. You also don't see behind the doors and windows. Many may have nothing in them - they are just a 'good' address! People are in debt up to their eyeballs. They aren't happy. Sure, there are some that make it work and have good lives - I am not trying to be critical of those folks (I am happy for them), but it isn't realistic for most.
Years ago, I worked in the HVAC industry and the techs would talk about the fancy neighborhoods they went to. A nice car in the drive and a beautiful home - but basically they contained a bed, a couch and a TV. These folks couldn't furnish them, but they sure had that prestigious address!!!
How is that living?
**Funny story I have related before - years ago we played the lotto on Saturdays. On Sunday morning (every Sunday) Glen would say "are we rich yet?". He knew my answer - then he would say "yeah, I know we are already rich". LOL. Rich had nothing to do with money!
Don't be shamed or pressured into what you know you cannot afford. Today, even lending places will try to convince you that you can afford what you can't! Common sense will tell you that.
You make X amount of money - you need to spend less than that!!!!!! PERIOD!
There are many here that can relate stories of going into extreme debt and how it DOESN'T work!
You can live in a tiny home, and you can have an average salary - and you can be wealthy and have luxury!
*************** Peace of mind is a luxury many have never known. **************
Start with a small home - and maybe finish with a small home! You need less room than you think. Work hard at what you do and pay your bills and start a savings. Stock your pantries. Remember the difference between wants and needs. Love your life where you are and make it the best you can. IF you do that, you will be far ahead of a whole bunch of people in this world!
If life gives you lemons - make lemonade! If the rain pours down - go dance in it! Make things happen yourself. Make your life a joyful and happy one. YOU HAVE THE POWER!
Do you and don't let others burst your bubble.
Learn the luxury listed above! You will not be disappointed.
Have a beautiful day everyone.
Go out and make the day a great one!
I remember when I was asked "how on earth did you pay off your home"? We bought our 1650sf home in 1991 with a 20y mortgage, and paid it off! (at that time we had been here 24y). I happened to be in charge at that business so I got all the employment/income verification calls and knew that she had refinanced several times. She was unaware of these calls. It was a great opportunity to respond the way I did. She retired last year and I hope she paid it off.
ReplyDeleteWe were led astray by my in-laws on the debt/finance/borrow lifestyle. By the time we'd been married 6y (1986) we were up to our eyeballs and teetering on the edge of bankruptcy. I got mad because I'm my father's daughter. We stayed home for 5y and did nothing but pay down debt. And as we polished off that pile of "false lifestyle debt", we saved. Wrote a check for a new car in 2000, bought/paid for a mountain cabin in 56 months, rehabbed it over the years 1 $100 at a time with our own hands/sweat, grew investments to the point I retired at age 58 and hubby will retire whatever day it strikes him to do so (we are 63 now).
So yes, you can look "good" on the outside or sleep well living within your means.
I do NOT care that my broke older sister who rents a 1bed apt has a higher credit score than I do. She can't write a $20k check and I can. She thinks she's the winner. OK by me sister. Your choices.
I do hope young people read your blog and comments and learn what to do and what not to do :-)
You were one of the ones I thought of when I said people here could concur that all that debt was not a good thing. Your story is very inspirational and I hope younger folks listen.
DeleteYou guys did great and have accomplished much. I have people in my family say the same things - in their big and fancy houses and spendy lifestyles - but they don't have a pot to "pi**" in - if you know what I mean. I can go today and buy a new vehicle if I CHOOSE and pay cash.
It sure feels good.
Thak you again for your testimonial!
Another great post and I heartily agree with what the Real luxuries in life are. Thank you. Lynn Ewing, Pecos, NM
ReplyDeleteCheryl I'm enjoying a peaceful morning and a cup of tea on my porch. Very luxurious.
ReplyDeleteI took tried to live life as we are
told it should be.
It got me car payments,house payments, multiple credit cards.
Then I developed autoimmune
problems.
So now I had medical bills and hospital stays to pay for.
I then worked a second job.
Both jobs were in busy city ER's.
No peace in my life.
I went to a lecture with Dave Ramsey speaking on debt.
He was saying the opposite of everything I had been taught.
I put his plan in motion and it changed my life for ever.
Like you my house is paid for,my cars are older models well cared for.
Everything I own I bought at estate sales and garage sales.
I love buying the things I want for pennies on the dollar.
I love books and have a wall bookcase filled. For almost nothing.
One of my favorite frugal luxuries
is opening my mailbox without fear and stress. Because it's not full of bills I can't pay anymore.
Keep teaching people that they don't have to live like every one else.
One last thing, there's a wonderful book called frugal luxuries.
It was written by Tracey McBride.
I think you would enjoy it .
Thanks for the recommendation on the book. I will look that up.
DeleteYou are another great testimonial. So many simple things in life to enjoy and they cost a thing or at least not much.
Illness, job loss, economy, death of spouses, etc. can happen - then people are just plain old screwed! Those things can now happen for many of us here, and we would be just fine and have been.
So many days I get absolutely nothing in the mailbox! I love it. When I do get stuff, most of it is junk. You are right, that is a pure luxury!!!
I plan on continuing the teaching journey as long as I can. I did it all wrong the first time around - and learned. Second time I got an opportunity for a wonderful life - I/we jumped at it and still had a wonderful life and did fun things - yet paid and saved.
Peace of mind is a great luxury. We are rich in our faith, our activities which we enjoy (Scripture study, gardening, reading) and good simple, healthy food. Our greatest luxury is being a Child of the King. This morning one of my luxuries is a cool, sunny day to work outdoors. Another luxury are bloggers such as yourself to learn from and communicate with like-minded ladies.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your weekend. You are right, back to the heat and humidity...ugh. However, the nights are cool, and it won't last long.
Yes mam. We have so many luxuries. My faith is what has gotten me through everything in this life. I often say "only by the grace of God"! It is true.
DeleteI was out this morning weeding, harvesting and wondering across the street to talk to a great neighbor. Kitties are sitting here sleeping, the windows are open, and I am thinking about eating a bite then porch setting.
I am one rich lady here!!!!!!
I've saved your image of defining luxury, and am blessed to be living a life with "the real luxuries in life" - Madelyne
ReplyDeleteIt is wonderful isn't it? It sure beats the worry and the stress - I have done that too. Life is good - we just need to simplify it a bit!!!
DeleteI am living in this lap of luxury! Not always, but now. :) Bills can be paid. On time and in full. Times may change, things may be worse, or better, who knows? God holds the future in his hands. :)
ReplyDeleteMaryB
Yes mam. I agree and so am I. It is lovely. Sure stuff changes - it happens all the time - but for now it is good!
DeleteI recently saw a photo shoot of Donald, Melania and Barron Trump in their New York palace. Think about European royalty; Versailles, the Winter palace, etc. Sorry but there is such a thing as luxury and we don't have it.
ReplyDeleteLuckily, we don't need it and we can appreciate our homely surroundings. Ordinary people can have an extraordinary life if they eschew the junk that is being hawked by 'lifestyle' gurus.
Keep your money in your pocket and don't waste valuable resources like food and heat/ cooling and water. Clean water and clean air are more important than a golden toilet.
Many call that luxury - I call it gawdy. I don't even find it pretty, really.
DeleteWe are so fortunate to have our homes - and I love being 'ordinary'! Wouldn't want it any other way.
I guess it is all a matter of perspective - what we have may be luxury to someone who has nothing. Or to someone who has it all - we may look poor.
I just know I am secure and happy.
what is missing in their photo is happiness. They all seem filled with angst. I prefer my joyful peaceful life!
DeleteAn extended family member used to be a delivery person for a dry cleaners and saw exactly what you are talking about with those big pretentious houses. He said there is nothing inside of them. We had a family in our neighborhood growing up who built a house at the best address in town but what most did not know is that they only built a two bedroom house which required a brother and sister to share a bedroom at an age when they should not have been. But, the mother bragged all over our small town about how now they live at Silver Lake. What I though as a teenaged girl was that I would rather be in our middle class neighborhood than share a room with my brother who I though was gross at the time!
ReplyDeleteThere you go - another good example. We don't see behind closed doors. I am so unimpressed with an 'address' - could not care at all. Some people just want to world to 'believe' they are something they aren't. So sad.
DeleteI don't know where to start ... but I'll just say there is so much truth to this, especially about people who live in McMansions, yet can't furnish them. Years ago, we lived what some would consider a lavish lifestyle and spent time on Lake Michigan, often staying in a marina community on weekends. I vividly remember a friend from there commenting, after we all grilled together one Saturday evening, "Yah, people see us eating steak every weekend and think we're rich. What they don't know is we're surviving on hot dogs and Kraft mac and cheese during the week." What goes on behind closed doors ... For them, it was the image that counted.
ReplyDeleteHaving lost my husband suddenly, handling the finances after his passing was difficult. I wrote the checks prior to that, but then the income dropped drastically and I had to make choices. In 24 mos. time after his passing (and on 2/3 of the previous household income) I had the mortgage paid off, the home equity loan and line of credit paid, and all cards paid in full. If used, they were paid in full every month. I've maintained that philosophy ever since, and include an additional amount each month toward the "principle" on my new mortgage (moved from 100 year old single family City home to a suburban townhome, for personal safety and ease of maintenance; opted to invest most of the proceeds, given the market and interest rate at that time). I had to replace my vehicle and, knowing where I was financially and what terms I was eligible for, negotiated a 5-year 0% interest rate -- and paid it off in 4 years time. I've set goals for myself, involving savings, travel, and credit score. And because of this, I retired early and am comfortably living on even less than I was before. That is my luxury. What I have now is more than enough, and I am content with my surroundings. I am safe, have a wonderful scenic view, ample food in the pantry and for the table, and a good group of friends. I'm at peace, and am grateful for every blessing.
Image - you have that right. Crazy stuff.
DeleteAmen - preach it gal! You have been through it all as well, and you have a great testimonial too. It is amazing what one can do if one wants to. You did an amazing job.
Funny, G always said - he was amazed how fast we went through money each month. Yes, we had savings, but the monthly income went fast. I save over half of that income now and have more than doubled my savings/investment in over just 5 years. He spent a lot on ordering things, bless his heart. He couldn't go out and shop, so he ordered. That is where most of the funds went. He didn't realize that for some reason.
Peace is a wonderful thing to have. You are very fortunate and you should be proud.
Hmm, my comments have disappeared twice this week...
ReplyDeleteI saw your post from yesterday and answered. I thought maybe you posted under anonymous for some reason. I looked and didn't see anything from today. So sorry that happened - I have no answer why this happens.
DeleteThe blogger demons are at work!
DeleteI wish I had read your post 50 years ago. I spent some years trying to have it all. Then I met a woman (the best friend in my life) who didn't have a lot and didn't care. She taught me so much about being happy with what you have. What a wonderful feeling ! Thank you Cheryl.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you met your friend. It sure makes a big difference. Hopefully someday 50 years from now - someone will say "I read this blog that changed my life"! That would be cool.
DeleteGive that friend a hug!
Wealth to me is having enough to buy what is needed and a few things perhaps not as needed (like my loom, but I get so much enjoyment from it). Luxury is having enough, being able to heat my house, getting gifts for our sons, and having a paid for roof over our heads.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
I think you described each very well. Kind of how I look at both as well. It has nothing to do with extravagance or showing off - it is the basics and the little things that make us happy.
DeleteThe fact that we can put our head on the pillow every night knowing we are safe is a luxury. Soon after uni I learnt that promotion equals stress - no thanks. I had a career but I could walk away knowing I was the same person. I didn’t need a title, job description, pay check to make me feel satisfied in life and important. What’s important to me is choosing a part time work life balance, making home cooked meals, raising chickens and growing food from the garden. I’m glad I was raised in a working class family and learnt I didn’t need or want the best everything. Others don’t own what they have, but are drowning in endless toil and interest charges.
ReplyDeleteYour life sounds perfect. Those are the good things in life. I agree. Being raised with working class parents was a blessing to me as well - I learned so many good lessons that still serve me well.
DeleteI am very happy to be one of the “regular folk” as my father would say.
ReplyDeleteNothing better in my opinion. Smart father!
DeleteI had the same thought this week, that even though the weather was so nice, there is now way it was done for the year, but I enjoyed it while I could. :)
ReplyDeleteIt is still nice today - but warming up some. Big temps to come next week. All good - it isn't winter!
DeleteGood on ya' Cheryl for changing the way you think about some stuff. Go you! Cheers and boogie boogie.
ReplyDeleteI think it is just called growth. We all change and grow - that is what makes it all so interesting.
DeleteGlad to read that you're growing away from those first images of what you thought of. I never thought that way. To me, just vegging on the couch with with my new Halloween mag is pure luxury. Such a wonderful thing. Delightful.
Deleteyou are so right, simple living frugal and grateful .
ReplyDeleteThanks. It sure is a nice way to live - relieves us of stress and worry.
DeleteTo many people this question of "when is it a luxury" can be triggering, and I'm not exactly sure why. Perhaps they see it as a value judgment whereas to me it's just expressing my opinion and sharing my experiences.
ReplyDeleteThere are certainly things which are non negotiable to others but for us they're luxuries, like heating the house and going on vacation. Yes, we still have many luxuries! I prefer to call them luxuries because that's what they are to me. It really depends a lot on people's experiences/personal preference, societal norms, etc. Even the climate plays a role as with my example of heating: because of the mild winters where we live, many people choose to spend their money on other things than heating. It's a bit more chilly which makes it a luxury if you can afford it. We can, and we don't want to take it for granted or look at it as a "necessity". Whereas for others around the globe, it's absolutely a necessity. And that's true for so many other things as well. I try to be appreciative and grateful for all the luxuries that other people don't have.
It really is a matter of perspective isn't it? Yes, heat is a necessity for me and many others - but just a perk for someone else.
DeleteA big mansion, heated pool and servants, could be normal for some - for others that is considered luxury. I wouldn't consider it either one. Just my opinion. Not something I would ever want or consider no matter how much money I had.
Life is wonderful just staying kind of simple. We are happy and that is what is wonderful. We have what we need and that is important too.
It is neat to see how everyone looks at luxury and wealth.
Great post !! I have lived in a small cottage for 51 years, I am thankful for it. ~ FlowerLady
ReplyDeleteThank you. You must like your home as I do. That is a long run in a home. I think that is wonderful!
DeleteThank you for being here.