Life is Full of Transformations

I was sitting here going through pictures the other day, and it just really dawned on me how many times in our lives we go through transformations of our self.  We have each had many versions of ourselves.  Some may think not - but think about it.  You had the single gal at home, then perhaps a college gal, then married, then maybe children and grandchildren, maybe a career woman, maybe a widow.  Just so many changes in one life.

I do believe that whatever role I was in, I was always trying to please others.  Just kind of became a way of life.  I guess maybe we all do that.

I was that girl at home, carefree and having a pretty good life.  I dated as a teen, had fun with friends, got into trouble a little, and had a pretty good life.  I always wanted mom & dad to proud though.

I then got engaged and married.  Too young!  We thought we were all grown up and that was exciting.  We played hard and partied hard and spent a lot of money!  Not a good idea for a young (fairly clueless) couple.  Stuff happened and we went our separate ways.

Only spent a little time single again.  Spent most of that time trying to get out of that crazy debt we made earlier.

Met my love, and boom - decided marriage WAS a good thing.  Swore it wouldn't happen again and then it did.  We had such a good life together.  We had fun, we had dreams, we had goals and we worked on all of those things together.  We both had our heads on straight and knew life could very well be different in the future, because of probable handicaps - we planned for that.  I worked hard, and tried to be the best wife I could.  I wanted to make my husband happy.  I took care of him and things when the time came.  That was my life.  Wouldn't trade it for anything.

Oh my goodness, look at these two young kids!!!!!!  Good golly, we weren't even married yet.  This was the Christmas before we married in January.  Young and happy - looking forward to the future together.  By the way - Glen hardly ever smiled in pictures unless acting goofy!  Gosh what a hunky looking lumberjack of a fellow he was - my big teddy bear.

Today - I am a widow.  Alone.  Yet another transformation in life.  Today I do whatever I feel like doing - if people don't like it - well, I don't care much.  I am old enough and have been through enough, that I can be whatever form of me I want to be.  I am still not sure what that is!!!!!!

I would love to still be a wife to Glen - but I wouldn't wish him back to go through those final hours again for anything.  I wouldn't wish him back, knowing what he would have had to go through had that one day been different.  He was still somewhat dependent and that would have changed over time.  He would never want that.

I miss him and nothing is the same - yet it is.  That is when we wonder how can life continue and go on the same every day when someone so special is gone.  Yet it does - the world just continues.

I guess the point of all of this is, no matter where we are in life - each step is a transformation of who we are becoming and who we will end up being.  It makes us who we are.  Life is full of changes - good and bad - and here we are.

We get up and we go through the steps each day.  We mean something to someone else out there and that is good.  

Would I have changed anything is this life?  Hmmmm that is a tough one.  Sincerely wish I hadn't had some experiences - but then I wouldn't be who I am today.  Each thing and experience in life has formed me into who I am.  AND I am OK with that.  I like me.

Just try to be the best you can be, make a difference for someone else in this world, and SMILE!  

Don't wallow in self-pity and worry - it changes nothing for the good.  

Just be your best self!  

THAT is what would make all those lost in our lives happy!!!!!!!