Good golly, I have been thinking a lot lately. I don't know if that is good or bad! LOL! I have to believe good. Spring is a time for rebirth of the land and nature - and I am going to try to make it a rebirth for me as well. I think there are many of us that may need to do that.
I love the season of spring, but the past few years, it has become a time of remembering loss as well. In less than a month it will be 3 years since losing my love. Now this post is in NO WAY about trying to get you to feel sorry for me - I am hoping this post will give hope and strength to others!!
I have many people and things that make me happy - but it seemed the 'sunshine' was gone from life. I need to get that back. I know a part of me is gone forever, but I need to move forward. I have 'maintained' for a long time - and I guess that is good. BUT, I need to advance. Oh, heck no, I don't mean a new person in my life (can't even imagine), but just getting back into life.
Year one was awful - then came a couple summers and years of upheaval in the world. I am ready to enjoy a little again (I think).
There are many of you who have lost your loves. It is a loss that can't be described. Whether it is family, friend, spouse or child (can't even imagine that) - many have lost their 'sunshine'.
IF you have been like me you feel sadness, loss, loneliness, anger, emptiness, etc. You may also feel GUILT when it comes to changing or moving forward. YEP!
That has been me. I hate to get rid of things or change things - because!!!!!! Well, I am finally realizing that is normal and it is kind of crazy. Our loves would want us to move forward and to be happy. They don't care about that STUFF! They sure wouldn't want us to be stuck.
Whether you are getting through a loss of love, or worried about your current circumstances, or worried about the state of the world - God has it and you!
Remember that always.
**Slowly start making small changes around your home. Slowly let go of things. Slowly move forward.
(SLOWLY) is truly the word! Don't rush yourself - God will let you know when you are ready.
**Turn off the news. Quit spending so much time on current events. You can be aware, with out spending so much time watching or reading. REALIZE - there isn't a darn thing you can do about it! You can not change the world. Work on your little corner and make it 'sunny'! Pray.
**Quit complaining - you are sucking the joy out your life by doing that. Again, nothing you can do - but live life the best you can! Complaining isn't going to solve a thing. Most of the world is going through the same thing - we all know stuff is bad. Just adjust how you shop, eat, buy, and live. That is all we can do!!!!!!
**Move forward inch by inch. Quit stagnating life. Make your own 'sunshine' and joy and happiness. It is possible.
Here is an example. I got an invite to a gr.gr. nieces first birthday celebration the other day. I smiled, then saw the date! My heart sank - and I thought, no I can't do that. It is on the anniversary date of G's death. Then I swear I heard a voice yell - "STOP IT - go and celebrate that sweet baby".
I swear I heard it!!!!!! Yes I did.
I will be going. I need to celebrate that adorable babies LIFE - not feel sorry for myself.
I spend a lot of time in solitude and lately I keep hearing Glen talking to me. No, I am not going crazy - I do think his words are coming to me somehow and some way.
I keep hearing "You are OK". "It is OK to change". "Get your butt in gear and move forward". "You got this".
Yep sweety, you are right.
We are all stronger than we can possibly imagine. You are stronger than you know! You can get through anything - give it to God and allow Him to help you through it.
I spend a lot of time trying to encourage others in life - but not so much myself.
I am going to "listen" to my sweety and encourage myself as well. Now is the time.
NOW is the time to LIVE and do all we can on this earth to enjoy and be happy. Kids, we get one shot at this - let us ALL make it the best.
We can't change yesterday - tomorrow hasn't happened yet - today is EVERYTHING!
Blessings my friends!
I so needed to read this today... moving day. Thank you, Cheryl. It's the end of an era in many ways (for me), but the beginning of a new one! --Elise
ReplyDeleteGod moved me to write today - He knew someone needed it!!! Safe travels and hoping all goes well.
DeleteNew beginnings are scary but needed in life!!! JOY!!!!!
My heart is happy for you that you have reached this point in your grief and you see your present and your future. My BIL died unexpectedly in 2007. It was 37 months when, on the phone one day, my sister said, "I have turned the corner. I am going to be OK".
ReplyDeleteA dear friend in DC had as part of her email signature "We are not promised tomorrow".
Hugs to you Cheryl.
I think we just know when it is OK! I am at 35 months - so about the same timeframe. I know many move faster and others more slowly.
DeleteWe never forget - we just move differently.
Thanks.
Deep within this person is a great toughness for his own integrity – a great tenacity in the face of adversity. Human nature is the most indestructible thing that we know. It has almost unlimited ability to take whatever comes – to go on surviving in the midst of unbelievable difficulties and persecutions. A person is an overpowering will to survive, to arrive at destinations. To blossom and be – with all the spontaneity of a rose at seven o’clock on a June morning. (source unknown)
ReplyDeleteCheryl, your intention to move forward is embodied in this quote. One of my mantras is to engage in life. I don't feel sorry for you; I admire you.
What a wonderful quote! It is most certainly true. It is amazing what we can handle and how strong the will to live is. Not to just live, but live well.
DeleteTHANK YOU!
Thank you for your last sentence as well - that means a lot!
Sending you hugs and prayers as well as gratitude for the sharing. I am still in the first year of the loss of my sweet love and seeing you move forward and reading your words is a help. Blessings, Lynn Ewing
ReplyDeleteLynn I am so sorry you had to go through this as well. I will NOT say I know what you are going through - as every single person goes through this differently and has different circumstances.
DeleteI do understand the difficulty and the loss.
Hugs and prayers for you. Again, God made this happen today!
Blessings to you
I thought that the other day..no matter what happens there isn't a darn thing I could do about it somedays!
ReplyDeleteI like your thoughts on moving forward ..it was hard to get rid of Mom's sewing cabinet but it was falling apart and it was time. Life goes on stuff doesn't.
No we can't change most things - we just need to adjust.
DeleteWe have memories, which is an awesome gift we have been given. Exactly, life goes on and stuff doesn't.
Relish your memories!!!!!!
Perhaps Glen had a hand in sending that little wee girl into your life. A reminder perhaps that even as one life was lost, another was born.
ReplyDeleteIt's wonderful that Glen is encouraging you and he's right, you've got this.
Perhaps! Nice to think that! Life continues on and I am learning those are the ones and moments we need to celebrate daily. Life is important and well, death is part of life.
DeleteHe is with me every moment of every day!
Sometimes it is hard to find the sunshine when we feel like we have been buried in the clouds of life...clouds that came about not from our own doing but by circumstances beyond our control. Every day I find I have to choose happiness and not wallow in the things that have happened in the past. I remember the good and try to release the bad. Blessings to you- xo Diana
ReplyDeleteSo very true. Choosing happiness is really it! I choose to celebrate what years I have left - I will celebrate my love with Glen and our life and I will celebrate all wonders put before me.
DeleteIm 24 months at the end of this month. In lots of ways I've moved on in this past two months. Most of the house decorated and garden done as well.
ReplyDeleteGoing to Scotland on Friday. Its just when nighfall comes or maybe a short trip on the spur of the moment... These are not nice on your own. Stop gripping Sylvia. Lol
Today was a lovely warm sunny day here.
Glad you are moving forward. So true, special moments, or nights, or even something on TV - sends me in a spiral of remembering. I will always miss him, as you will miss your love.
DeleteBaby steps is what it takes. Bless you. Have a wonderful trip.
Couldn't agree more with your post. I'm coming up on 8 years, on Mother's Day. It was baby steps at first, and now I'm making some bigger decisions and major changes in the last few months. It's amazing the ways we "hear" we're making good choices and the guidance our loved ones can give us. Sometimes it's that little voice in the background, other times it's that weight that's lifted, a sense of peace that comes over us, when making a decision involving change. In a couple of weeks I'll be letting go of a big part of who "we" were. When I made the decision and accepted an offer, there was a huge sense of peace in my heart and I'd heard "I agree, it's time" several times during the process. He'll always have my back and guide me, if I only stop and listen.
ReplyDeleteChange is always hard in life and big changes can be the pits. You are doing good. Glad you are at peace with your big change and know that all is right.
DeleteI agree, a nudge, a feeling and silly as it sounds - hearing their voice or even dreaming. There is a way.
I love that you agree they are always with us.
Blessings to you in the next chapter of life.
I so needed this post today. I have so many plans within plans and so much to do and I want everything done right now and I just need to slow down and do the one thing that is important. The rest will follow in its time. I am sure Glen is nudging you. Gently, gently.
ReplyDeletePriorities - we need to find the right ones and yes, the rest will follow suit.
DeleteOh he sure is nudging. I feel it. I love it.
I absolutely believe Glen speaks to you and that he told you to go celebrate that baby! My heart goes out to you, I cant believe it's been almost 3 years now. I am sending you hugs....
ReplyDeleteThanks - yes, I have had 2 very realistic dreams over the years, so realistic that I awoke crying real tears. His words then were profound.
DeleteI do believe God gives us a way to hear when we need it most!
I'll take the hugs!!!!
Thank you for this! I so admire all you do and everything you share. I just passed three years this month and am slowly changing things around the house. And finally going through clothing for donation. Son and son in law to choose what may be special to them.
ReplyDeleteThank you again.
Susan
Looking for sunshine and being the sunshine.
Susan I am so sorry you have to go through this. So sorry for your loss. It is a long process. Clothing is something I am just NOW beginning to work on. It has been packed up - but still here. All his things are here.
DeleteIt is something I wouldn't wish on anyone.
Thank you for being here. You got this. HUGS
I was talking to a dear friend the week my father in law died. She commented that she couldn't imagine losing her husband and shuddered. At the time, we were both still newlyweds at 10 years. Then she said, "To your mother in law, it must be like losing a limb after 62 years.". I always remember that when I hear of someone losing a spouse. But she did find joy again and I'm so glad she was open to it. My Grandma never did. I pretty much lost her the day my Grandpa died, even though she was humanly alive for another 15 years. It broke my heart. She wouldn't even come to my wedding and she practically raised me.
ReplyDeleteLife is hard. Really hard. We need joy. We need to laugh. The people that love us need us to, as well.
Losing a limb is a good way to phrase it. A piece of your heart or a piece of your soul. Nothing compares.
DeleteI am so sorry your grandma chose to stop living. Yes, our family and friends need us - God gave us this gift of life and we need to honor that.
Thank you.
Cheryl, you are so wise! It's hard to lose a loved one but it not respecting the relationship you had with them to stagnate and not move forward. Enjoy that sweet baby's first birthday! My neighbor just told me that one of her daughters has rectal cancer. The husband of her other daughter was in hospital with a heart related issue and they found a mass in his chest. I told her I would add them to my prayer journal. Diana is right: choose joy.
ReplyDeleteI don't know about wise - I just know I need to honor my love and his memory.
DeleteHow terribly sad for all your neighbor's family is going through. Prayers for healing. Life sure can throw us some strikes - it is not always home runs.
I really needed this. I lost my beloved sister last November, and my life changed just like that. Rethinking holidays, retirement plans, vacations. Suddenly feeling very alone. Thank you for this post. I'm sorry you lost your Glen. My best to you, Celie
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry Celie. Our sisters are often our best friends.
DeleteDeath and loss does make you look at things differently. Take a big breath and calm yourself. Life goes on and your will work things out. HUGS
Thanks you!
I so agree with this post. Change happens in an instant and not always the way we would like. Moving slowly is the way to go.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
It sure does. One moment can change everything. I have to believe there is a reason for everything. God has His plan.
DeleteSlow and steady!
Blessings
Eleven years, to most so long ago, still I struggle. I have done a lot in those years, things that have to get done. I have lost others since then. My world keeps shrinking. I don't cry everyday anymore but I miss him every day. I don't tell anyone this, a so-called normal person would be over it. It is weight that I carry and I have come to terms with the fact I always will. I just go a day at a time. It is hard to march on alone but I am doing it.
ReplyDeleteHugs. I do not understand how one is to 'get over' a loss of a true love. You don't. You adjust and you keep going - but I do not believe that you ever get over it.
DeleteWhen my mom passed, it had been 17 years since losing dad - and yes, she cried everyone one of those days.
There is no normal behavior - just your behavior. We all grieve differently. You do whatever is right for you!