Every single service person I have had to deal with this week has been absolutely lovely. All were so kind, compassionate and caring. I have been hugged and I have been cried with by professionals. It has been astounding.
My family and friends have surrounded me with love and support.
I have had a lot of loss in my life, but Tuesday was by far the absolute worst day I have ever experienced. The shock and suddenness and tremendous loss is beyond words.
I am comforted by all the support shown and by knowing that my sweet husband is in the Lord's presence.
Everything about my life changed Tuesday morning. It will never be the same. I don't know why or what direction life will take, but I give it to God to direct me and hold me up.
I will have a second worst day this Tuesday when I see my sweet Glen's actual face for the last time. I then have to figure out things about going forward.
I will need to check his retirement and social security accounts and insurance eventually. He set his retirement up so that I would also receive full benefits for the rest of my life. I have to work on paying bills - he paid everything online - and I don't have a clue how to do that. Needless to say I will be visiting with the bank a bit. He did make sure that I would be OK financially, for that I am grateful.
I have to get used to new routines. My life was very structured with him and now nothing. I do have my sweet kitties to take care of and my nature - so I have some things to do each day that are important.
My kitties are so confused. Lilly eats her breakfast in the morning, then goes in and lays in "daddies" spot on the bed all day. Both have gotten sick a couple times this week. Their world turned upside down as well. They sleep with me at night, and Coogy loves on me constantly.
I do believe my blog posts will be changing some as well.
I will not be doing bargain hunting and shopping for a long time. Goodness knows I have enough food here to feed an army, let alone just me. I well imagine my only food purchases will maybe be milk and something fresh.
I probably won't have weekly menus to share for quite a while. How interesting and varied can it be when it's only me? Soup, sandwiches, a salad or cheese isn't much to write about.
That big garden I had planned for this year - will be much smaller. There will be no need. I will grow enough for myself and maybe my neighbor and maybe a few things to make 'canned' gifts from.
So please be with me as things evolve - as I am sure they will.
I look around and wonder why do I have all this stuff? My sweet man was an absolute pack-rat on his own! WHY oh why did he keep so much paperwork and stuff? Eventually I will get through things and figure it all out.
So for now, I will go forward one day at a time. I will see the joy again I am sure - but it will take time. Glen would want me to be happy and continue on a positive path of life. That I know for sure.
He is in every nook and cranny of this house and I do feel surrounded by his presence and love.
Again, thank you all for all the beautiful thoughts and words. It means so much.
Hang in there with me - as I will get back on track soon.
Love harder, hug tighter, and speak kinder every day.
God bless you all my sweet, sweet friends. I love you all.