The weather has been wet, with a side of more wet!! Until today - 10 of the last 11 days have had rain. The only one that didn't was Tuesday - the day of the funeral. For that I am thankful.
It has rained at least one day of every weekend since the first of February.
The weed are growing like crazy, as well as the grass.
Hopefully if the dew dries, I can mow today. It needs it again for sure. So many weeds to pull out of the flower beds. Today and tomorrow are supposed to be dry, then more rain comes in for most of the week. Garden will wait as well. Today is truly beautiful outside. Sun is shining and the sky doesn't have a single cloud. It has been ages since we have had such a day.
The kitties are still not completely understanding where daddy is. Lilly lays in his spot on the bed all day - every day. At night I lay there, and she comes in and lays in his power chair. Coogy just loves on me constantly, and lays with me at night. He sits and stare at me, as if he is thinking.
- I did put the hummingbird feeders up on 5/3 just in case. Not much blooming, so I want them to have food if they show up.
- I have not purchased groceries in almost 3 weeks, except 1/2 gallon milk a 2 liter bottle of pop and 2 vine tomatoes
- Have done laundry in cold water
- I have been eating once a day - nothing to brag about. I did cook a couple eggs, and some pasta w/chili beans once. Other than that it has been a sandwich, salad, or bowl of soup.
- I have not turned on the heat in many days
- I returned the library books this week, so I wouldn't forget. Never finished reading - will get them again later. I have tried to read, and just can not concentrate
- I did go to the feed store for the bird/squirrel feed.
- I have been enjoying some beautiful roses and a lovely battery angel candle I received. The roses smell so lovely, I keep changing the water and babying them, so as to make them last. I also have some houseplant planters, adding lots of green to the house.
- I did figure out the bill situation - utilities and insurances are basically all we have. Paid what was due. Did some banking, till things are settled.
- I had to go back to the cemetery in Thursday, so make all final decisions on the grave marker. We had paid for it, years ago when buying our plots - but had to decide on style and granite backer. I went by Glen's grave and was totally surprised at how neat it was. I figured I would see a lot of mud two days out and rain - but it already had sod. This all seems so surreal.
So there you have it. I am just getting through a moment at a time. EVERYTHING has changed. The quiet is deafening!!!! When attempting to watch TV, I have chosen all different things - I just can't watch our 'regular' programs.
I know I have to move forward and live the best life possible to honor Glen. He would want me experience life as well as I can. I spent years staying by his side, and not venturing more than a few minutes away (in case something happened). Well, I was right here, and it happened anyway.
He would want me to hook back up with friends and family and do stuff. Many have reached out for "when I am ready". I have family and friends checking on me daily. I have felt so much love.
I truly want to thank YOU ALL again for all the love and prayers that have been shared. You just have no idea what it means to me. You are all my friends and just gems in God's world.
THANK YOU!
May you all be blessed and have a good week. Stay healthy, happy and frugal. Hug, love and enjoy!
Blessings from this girl's humble little world to yours.
God bless.
It takes awhile I would think to get used to that quiet, Cheryl. I really can't imagine. You took such good care of him and I can tell you had such a great love. I'm glad though that you will be getting out and staying in touch with others.
ReplyDeleteIt's wet here as well ..so tired of rain. We put cardinal seed in our feeders and have been enjoying so many of them.
Thanks - we had a great love.
DeleteI am over the rain as well. Cardinals are so pretty.
Just sending our love and hugs.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much - I feel them!
DeleteA year on and I still don't like the quiet. I often have the TV on just for company.
ReplyDeleteJust keep keeping on one day at a time. Sending hugs from England again
The quiet is really something. It was never quiet before!
DeleteSo sorry you had to go through this as well. HUGS. Thank you so much.
Your roses are lovely and the angel candle is so pretty. I'm glad the kitties are keeping you company. I think they sense that you are sad, and they are trying to make you feel better. Hope your hummingbirds come back soon and the squirrels will make you laugh with their antics. Please take care of yourself. Sending hugs and prayers for comfort.
ReplyDeleteThank you - I love both the flowers and the candle.
DeleteOh my babies are so much comfort.
I love hummies - can't wait to see them soon! The squirrels are so funny. 2 days ago I went out back, and this one came running up and stood on my foot waiting for it's peanut treat!
Thank you my friend.
(((((Cheryl))))) My heart breaks for you. I wish I lived closer so I could do something to help. I'm glad to read you've been enjoying the roses. I hope you find other things that you enjoy. I too am glad you have the kitties to keep you company. Prayers for comfort always.
ReplyDeleteSlowly, things will bring joy again. I see the babies visiting next door (grandbabies) and the little one on the other side and I have to smile. Children and animals can always make me smile.
DeleteThank you.
Love, hugs and prayers.
ReplyDeleteThank you Mary
DeleteIt is going to take a while for you to find your new normal. That is OK. Take as long as you need. No one expects you to be OK with the situation. IT is not. You have every right to be sad, mad, angry, hurt or whatever else you are feeling.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you figured out the bills. Mark them in a calendar so that you don't forget. Snuggle with the fur babies and do what makes you feel best right now. You are all that matters right now. Everyone else will be there when you are ready. Sending you lots of prayers and hugs. -Marybeth
Good advice. Thanks. Yes, it will take time and I feel all those things you mentioned and I think that is normal. At least it is normal for me!
DeleteYes, everyone has said WHENEVER I am ready. That is nice.
Thanks so much.
Glad to see your post today and hope you will continue.. continued prayers for you. Blessings, Sharon
ReplyDeleteThank you Sharon. Little by little!
DeleteHugs and prayers Cheryl. You are so kind to share.
ReplyDeleteLove
Joy
I think you are very strong and are doing amazingly well for what you have been through. Grieving is something you can't rush! Be kind to yourself....be gentle with yourself. Lean on God, lean into God and let God work.
ReplyDeleteThank you. Some moments I don't feel too strong, but I will be OK. The tears come when you least expect them.
DeleteWithout God I am nothing.
Blessings
Your roses and angel are beautiful. I hope your hummingbirds come visit you soon and make you smile. I am going to try my hardest to put my feeder up this week, if will stop storming and bringing tornadoes my way.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you checked in. I know a lot of us are worried about you. I know the quiet is deafening. I am glad you have your furbabies to love on you.
I hope to see the hummies soon. Stay safe with the storms.
DeleteMy fur babies keep me with purpose and give lots of love.
Blessings
Love and hugs to you Cheryl, the silence will soon be filled ...God has you in his arms his strength and love will see you through. ..love and hugs Gaila
ReplyDeleteThank you. I know I have God with me every minute - couldn't do this without Him.
DeleteI had the most wonderful surprise two evenings ago. I looked out the kitchen window and there were little things flying around my lilac tree (yep it's that big) I went out and got about a foot away. They are tiny baby humming birds! I have never had humming birds here in the last 4 years we have been here. There were so many of them. They came again last night. I love hummingbirds. They were a favorite of my grandpa after he had a stroke he would sit at their kitchen window and they would come in the morning to greet him. I live in Nevada and my mom is in Oregon. She has never had hummingbirds where she has lived for over 20 years. She now has three. She named them Leroy, Bob and Tom for my dad and her 2 brothers who have all passed away. It's comforting to see the beauty all around us and I hope and pray you can find peace and comfort all around you. Take care.
ReplyDeleteAren't they just the sweetest little flying jewels? Every year they come to our house. If I don't have the feeder out yet, they circle the spot where I put it and wait.
DeleteThey are so much joy to watch.
So glad both you and your mom have them now!
I've been thinking of you and praying for you every day since I heard the news Cheryl.
ReplyDeleteAnd you say you were there but it happened anyway? Well, it was always going to happen whenever God decided it was time to call him home. But you being there, right up till the end? That was all you. xx
Yes mam, I was there. Thanks, that gives me a different way to look at it. I just can't get over that helpless feeling and trying, but not able to do anything. I keep seeing that morning.
DeleteYour words help. All in God's time!
Thanks you.
I was glad to see you posted. Sometimes, just doing something ordinary helps, even for just a moment. I'm an avid reader and when my mom died, I had a very short attention span. I found myself reading and then staring at the page. I started reading magazines again. The articles were short, pictures kept me focused, and I could do that. Readers Digest was a great one.
ReplyDeleteMy Mama Dove is nested in the corner of the rain gutter yet again. I told her that I didn't think that was a good place but she ignored me. My husband says shee knows what she's doing.
Gas prices are squeezing us a bit. It was so nice when there was money left in the envelope regularly. Not anymore. 😞
Still working on eating down the freezer. Good variety to choose from.
Take care!
Aaahhhh on the dove. My Mom used to have a pair a momma dove that nested every year on her front porch post. So sweet.
DeleteGas seems to be inching up. I figured spring break and now summer is coming. They always find a way to get you.
Good for you an eating from the pantry and freezers.
Every little bit helps.
Thanks!!
Your whole world changed in the blink of an eye. Praying for your peace. **my hummingbirds have been back for a few weeks now**
ReplyDeleteI am happy to see that you are able to post, as you go through this very difficult transition in your life. I hope your weather dries out so you can work in the yard and take joy in nature. Work is a great spirit lifter. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteOur fur babies know and do their best to try and comfort us as they are also grieving. ((((((((HUGS)))))) I'm glad you are able to get out in your garden and enjoy it's beauty. I do worry about you only eating once a day. I know it is hard with everything you are going through though. Much love to you my friend.
ReplyDeleteYes mam, those fur babies know and they give unconditional love.
DeleteI am plenty full, so I think it will be ok. I think 3 meals a day is just habit. I just have no will to eat any more than that. Maybe at some point.
Thank you!!!!!