Wednesday, July 28, 2021

Sharing a Bit and Offering Love & Hope

 I know each and every person that comes to visit here has had some heartaches in their life.  We have had good and bad.  Unfortunately it is part of life - not a nice part - but part of it.  All our ups and downs have made us the people we are today 100%.
Think about that - every single experience has shaped you into the human you are today.

I remember as a young person, being tall (taller than the boys in grade school) and skinny and clumsy.  I have never had an athletic bone in my body!  I was sickly as a little - but out grew that.  I never had a lot of store bought clothes or name brands.  Home made was what I had and I loved them.  I was not super popular at all - I kind of hung with the less desirables!  They seemed like a good fit and we all had fun.
I pretty much did the same in high school.  I made all my clothes by then, so I had a lot of them.  I worked and had my own money for material and shoes.  We had to wear dresses up till my junior year.  I continued to wear dresses even when pants were the thing (at school).  LOL - I have had many a male classmate (at reunions) say they remember me because of my long legs, long hair and short skirts!  Yep those were the 70's!!!  I guess I could be remembered for worse things!!!!!

I got married young - knew I shouldn't marry him - but I did.  He had cheated and saw nothing wrong with it (how he grew up).  Plans were made - so I got married.  No it wasn't all bad, not at first.  Then the cheating started again and became more and more.  I was made to feel like I wasn't worthy and no one else would want me.  I acted out some and probably partied a little too much back in the day.  I scared myself at a point and didn't pick up another drink for several years.
I did finally forgive him and we remained friendly (sort of).  He passed away a few years ago and that made me sad - so yes I cared about him.
Swore I would never marry again.  HA!  I met Glen, my life partner, my love.  It took him a good while to get me over my insecurities, but he did it.  At the time of his passing I had spent over half of my life with him.  I wish it could have been more - that is for sure.  I am so terribly happy I got to have those years and knew that kind of love.
Suddenly I was alone - for basically the first time in my life.  I had people ask - what does Cheryl want to do now?  My answer was "I was doing it!"  I still really have no idea what my future holds or what I want to be when I 'grow' up.  I just know now, after much prayer and reflection, that I can face whatever God throws at me.  
He is my rock.  I have to move forward not just for me, but for Glen too - he would want that.

Now I am not trying to get a pity party started here.
I know there is someone who needs to read this today!  It came to my heart last night.

This picture is a good representation of life to me.  Ups and downs, crooks and bends, haggard and lonely looking, trip hazards, not knowing where the path goes..................yet it is beautiful at the same time.

I know there are many reading that have lost spouses, maybe children or grandchildren.  Many of us have lost parents and siblings and oh so many friends.
Some have endured abuse as children and others as adults.
Some have lived in poverty and maybe still do.
Some have made bad choices in life.  Many may have had addictions.  Some may have gone to jail.  
Whatever it is that has happened in life and for whatever reason - you are here today for a reason!

Not one of us  has been 100% pure and without sin or troubles.  We have all made mistakes.  We also know NOW, that life can change.  It can get better.
We are blessed and should feel blessed.  I know that is hard to understand sometimes.  But it is true.
God sees to it, if we are alive and so choose, we get extra chances!  We get to improve!  How great is that?  We can maybe teach someone else in a bad spot that all is not hopeless.

I love this!!!  Be YOU!  Don't change for anyone other than yourself.  You know who you are and you will learn where you should be eventually.  We have to learn that ourselves.  We need to be happy with ourselves before we can ever make someone else happy.
PLEASE be forgiving to yourself!!!!!!!  Forgive yourself of you past and move forward.  Sure we all have regrets - we wouldn't be human if we didn't, but we can't let them define us.
The past is a story already told - the future is a new chapter we write each day!

Forgive others as much as humanly possible.  It is important for YOU not for them.  Forgiveness is freeing.  It takes time, I understand that - but it is so freeing.
Holding in all the anger and hate and nastiness of the past can only HURT you.   It can literally make you sick, give you headaches, ulcers, anxiety attacks, and much more.  You deserve better.

I want each person reading this to know that you are wonderful.  You are beautiful.  You are a child of God - He doesn't make mistakes!
You are loved.

Life is full of change - that is our one constant.  We have to grow and spread our wings and fly!  We need to learn to soar!
So forgive others, but most importantly forgive yourself.

YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!  Never let anyone tell you or treat you differently.
I pray you get to live your best life and that  you DO it to the fullest.
Blessings to each of you!


If you know someone having a rough time or feeling less about themselves - PLEASE reach out and tell them they are enough!!!!!!
HUGS

49 comments:

  1. Very well said. I was a teen in the 70's too and somewhat popular in high school and let me tell you that crowd was not nice! Life is hard and it takes resolve and courage to keep going many days but overall We are happy and that is enough. Hugs.

    (So you probably know my husband has a brain injury and is disabled. Half the day Monday he was frantically looking for his wallet. For some reason he had put it in a drawer in his tall tool chest in the garage and shut the drawer. I can't make this stuff up! It is what we live with so I might as well laugh about it!)

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    1. Thank you. Life does take courage. Every day is a new challenge.
      Oh my, poor guy. I bet you both were frustrated. God faces us with new and different everyday. Good and bad. We just go with the flow.

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  2. Thank you, Cheryl. I did need to read this today.

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  3. What a beautiful, beautiful, inspiring post today, Cheryl. It is very touching and REAL. Today my granddaughter Anna Bella would have been 16. We lost her as an infant and I still mourn her passing. Life is full of the unexpected---good and bad. I just look up and know that it is not me that is in charge. xo Diana

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    1. Thank you.
      So sorry for your loss. Those losses are always fresh, on specific days.
      Unexpected for sure. He has a plan - some day we will know and understand.

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  4. Cheryl, thank you for this post today. Yesterday was a hard day for me. I missed my son so much. Most days I keep "doing" and try to keep busy. Yesterday was a day that was slower and just me most of the day so the memories and tears crowded in. Your childhood sounds like mine. Almost exactly. Except I grew up in an all boy neighborhood in the country so I had more "brothers" too look out for me but never felt like I fit in at school or anywhere but in my neighborhood. Had a bad first marriage which produced my two sons so for that I am grateful. Then a short second marriage which was a huge mistake. Was never going to get married again and met the sweetest man who I have been married to for over 22 years now. This post touched me so much and I thank you for it. Take care.

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    1. You are so welcome. You know Crystal it is OK to be sad and cry and even yell and break things!!!!! That stuff happens.
      It is hard - yet by the grace of God we survive each day.
      Those quiet and lonely days are bad. Do what YOUU need to do to heal.
      You are stronger than you think hon.
      Bless you!

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  5. Soooooo needed to read this today. Thank you!

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    1. HUGS. I just felt someone would need it.
      Blessings

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  6. Thank you for sharing this from your heart. You are an amazing person my friend. (((((HUGS)))) I have a dear friend who just lost her husband last week and when the pain is still not fresh and raw, I will be sharing this with her.

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    1. Ahhh thank you. Give her space - but give her love and hugs. It is all needed! I am so sorry for hers and your loss.

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  7. Thank you on so many levels!

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    1. You are so welcome. I hope life is good and kind for you.

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  8. You are such a kind and caring person and it is because you learned to be. I was popular in school but I still ate lunch and hung with those that were not. I loved those girls and I insisted that they were included. I am still close to many of them. In fact several of them took care of my mom for years before she came to live with me. Kindness has its own rewards my friend and you are proof of this.

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    1. We encounter so many people along the way and some stay and some go. I am still friends with many from childhood. They are true friends that would do anything. They have been there when I needed them the most.
      My friends have taught me much.

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  9. I did need your words today Cheryl. Thankyou.
    Joy

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  10. Needed this more than you know Cheryl. Dealing with some family heartbreak too new to discuss. Thank you for letting God speak encouragement through you. He is my rock too, and I'm hanging on for sure! Keep shining His light in this dark world!!!

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    1. HUGS. I am sorry for whatever you may be going through. I truly do not know how I would cope in this life without God.
      Know He is with you and give it all to Him. I hope it is OK for you.
      Blessings and prayers.

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  11. Thank you again for the immense gift of keeping it real yet positive!!
    Your wisdom and love is priceless! Truly, you are the Mom/Grandma/psychiatrist for so many of us!

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    1. LOL - those are titles I'll take!
      I have been called a Pollyanna before - but you know - the world is gloomy and negative enough - shouldn't we look at the positive and nice? I try to pass that on.
      Thank you for your kind words.

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  12. This is such a perfect post. I'm a "70's gal and was not allowed to wear pants outside the house. I made all my own clothes, was tall, with long legs and wore shorts skirts. Like you, I was famous for my legs. I lost my beloved a little over a month ago and when people ask what I'm going to do next I'm stunned. It's a little soon to be making plans, but I do know that God is in control and I can relax through this time of grief. Thank you for your words.

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    1. I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you. It is surely not a club anyone wants to be in.
      Moment by moment and then day by day. Slow and steady is all you can do.
      God IS in control and someday we will all be reunited - that I am sure of.
      Prayers for your comfort and healing.

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  13. Needed to hear this. I was a lot like you (but not tall!) and hung out with the outcasts in school. Almost called off first wedding the night before, but knew my parents would disown me. Put up with his cheating and psychological abuse for 17-1/2 years before asking him to leave. He poisoned our neighborhood and church community with his slanders about me. I have recently learned that he has become friends with one of my neighbors and after 21 years apart is spreading lies about me in my current neighborhood. While he can't bring me back down to the depression and poor self-esteem I had when we were married, he is making my life a little difficult right now. I pity him. He is a sad, bitter, angry person.

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    1. My first was only 10 years - thank goodness. I walked away with basically nothing and started over. Not easy, but it was necessary.
      Oh my gosh, this is just unbelievable. What an evil person he must be. That is so pitiful - I do not understand why people feel they must put others down.
      You hold yourself high and people who truly know you know you are a good person. If they don't know you - their loss.
      Sending positive vibes and hugs.

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  14. Excellent, heartfelt post! I think we all need reminding that we are enough. We are the temple of Elohim and He will not forsake us.

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    1. AMEN!!!!
      We are each a creation from God and we should love what he created.

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  15. Thanks for sharing with us. I know that I need this reminder every so often especially on those days where I don't believe that I am enough.

    God bless.

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    1. You are always enough.
      Life gets to us so many days and we need to remember who we are and Who created us!
      Blessings

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  16. What a wonderful post. Thank you. There is one person I am not close to forgiving just yet. Maybe in time.

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    1. Time is what it takes. Hoping your heart softens for YOU and not necessarily for them.
      Huge hugs

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  17. Thanks so much for this sweet and heartfelt post today. You are so good at putting things in words. I had to laugh about the school dress codes in the 70's. When they finally allowed pants at my school, it had to be a pant suit (matching top and bottom). So funny! My parents wouldn't let me wear pants but I sure pushed it with the short dresses! I think lots of us got married too young back then. Half the girls in my senior class had engagement rings already. The younger generation today doesn't seem to be in a hurry like we were which is probably good. Take care and thanks for sharing.

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    1. Funny how dress codes have changed. Now kids wear just about anything! I remember those pant suits!!
      Yes, most of my classmates got married right after school. Pretty amazing. I will give that thumbs up to todays generation - I don't do that often!!!!! LOL
      Thank you

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  18. I love reading your blog, thanks for sharing so much of yourself!

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  19. Oh my! Your life SO parallels mine and what and when I was growing up. I can SO relate to what you have written here today and I go through each day by myself trying to figure it out. And you know what??? I am DOING IT!! With God's guidance and people like you giving us the courage to just keep on keeping on, each day is new, wonderful, and very forgiving if we mess up. I thank you for your encouraging words and for the strength of God to guide us through this journey!

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    1. I love that statement "I am DOING IT!!". Isn't it wonderful and amazing what we can endure? Sure we all have those days we just can't imagine going forward - yet with faith we do it.
      Bless you and your struggles.
      We are all DOING IT together!

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  20. Wonderful and encouraging post. ❤️

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  21. Thank you for this post, Cheryl! I, too, have regrets...two failed marriages to emotionally abusive men, the second one was beginning to be physically abusive when I divorced him. But I have four wonderful children. Now I’ve been married to the love of my life for almost four years. The past few weeks have been challenging...he was just diagnosed with a heart condition at 64, and next week I have a biopsy due to a suspicious mammogram (my sister had breast cancer so I’m a little worried). But I know God’s got this. Your words are always so encouraging...bless you!

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    1. Peggy sending prayers your way. Don't get too scared over the suspicious mammogram yet. I had that once and it turned out to be dense tissue. I hope your biopsy has a good result.
      Prayers for your hubby.
      Another example that out of bad comes good (your children).
      God has us in His hands!!!!

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  22. Such a wonderful heartfelt post Cheryl, appreciated by me and I sure many others. Thank you.
    Pam in Texas.X

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  23. Thank you for sharing this today. I appreciated it and from reading the comments others are as well. God Bless you Cheryl.

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  24. This is a beautiful post. thank you Cheryl for sharing it.

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