STUFF - we all have it. The struggle is real!!!! I know we have talked about this before - but I am still in the process of getting rid of stuff and figure I may be for the rest of my days! LOL
Once I started this 'new' clear eyed cleaning process - I am thinking to myself "what the heck is wrong with you girl?" I have so many things. I love things - in my opinion, it makes a house a home. But saying that, how much do I need?
Stuff is just an accumulation of things we buy, we inherit, we have to clean or store. then we give it away. Yep, that is how it often works. Much of what I have that I really love, is inherited items, my pictures, and special gifts. I do have plenty more, and I am slowly getting rid of things. It gets to be overwhelming.
There is no real value if you aren't using it or loving it. VALUE comes from memories of people, and what we deposit into others' lives.
We can't change this big old word - but we can change our life and maybe those lives of people close to us.
If you need to get rid of things - donate! Bless someone else - what you donate may be just what they need. Gift to family. If you have grandchildren, nieces or nephews who 'appreciate' family and heirlooms - pass some things on. Give them as a special gift for the holidays.
If you are inclined, sell things. I just don't have the energy or will to have a sale anymore, so donating and gifting are my choices.
I have gifted some nephews a few of G's knives. G collected knives and had several. They were very much appreciated by these young men - who dearly loved their uncle. I have kept the special ones (G's uncle made for him), otherwise those are gone.
It is tough. Even after all this time - it feels wrong to get rid of his things. I know he wouldn't care and he is probably somehow pushing me to do it!!!! He wouldn't want me to be overwhelmed.
Holiday stuff - oh my. I have so many things that have been boxed up for ages. It needs to go. I have only used certain items for ages. WHY keep it?
I am at the point in life that I want the house a lot emptier - just so someone doesn't have to do it later! Seriously!!!! I know what it is like to empty a house with a lifetime of savings things for "in case or because".
I am at the point in life I want to just find joy in other things. Simple things, nature, family, friends, pets, - just things other than stuff!
Our family and friends and our pets are our joys in life. They are all precious to us.
Our most precious and expensive thing is our SOUL. I want to take care of that and be happy and content on this earth for all remaining days.
I know many of you have moved and decluttered tons. Some of you are true minimalists (I kind of admire that). I am not a minimalist at all - you have seen pics of my house! Lots to take care of and clean. I am working on it, I truly am. It is an ongoing task for me.
How about you?
Are you still working on decluttering? Do you need to? Do you have a hard time doing this as well?
I wonder - am I the only one struggling?
Just looking for any tips that might help.
Have a blessed day!!!!
With the recent death of my friend, I am thinking more seriously about these things. I'm trying to stop bringing so many "things" into the house, especially if it just adds to clutter. I, too, like to think I may be "blessing someone else" by donating.
ReplyDeleteIt sure puts things in perspective. I don't bring in hardly anything anymore. I quit buying myself stuff a long time ago. I guess it just takes time. Sorry for your loss.
DeleteI am still working on decluttering and, like you, it may take me the rest of my life. I have donated, or given away, tons of stuff. It really feels good. My BIG job is going to be working on downsizing my Christmas stash. I have SOOO much. I have collected Christmas for 50 years! yep! 50 years!
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a wonderful day-happy sorting. xo Diana
I declutter constantly. My dils are going to go thru pink glass dishes that I have had forever and are now in plastic tubs. I told them to take what they want and I intend to donate the rest. That is the way I usually do those items that have memories attached (ie: Christmas decor, etc.). Have them take what they want and then donate the rest.
ReplyDeleteWell, I have to say it is comforting to know I am not the only one going through this. It seems to never end.
DeleteI have a couple of pink glassware dishes that were mom's - not many. Your DIL's are lucky!
That is a pretty good plan.
Compared to the average American I am a minimalist. Compared to "the Minimalists" (a blog), I am not. We did a MAJOR declutter about 25y ago when we emptied the house, half at a time for carpeting throughout. I would venture to guess half came back in and half went to the thrift store.
ReplyDeleteDoes the declutter journey continue? Yes. Sometimes I will simply wander around and look at stuff. Do I love still looking at it? No, out it goes. Yes, it stays. I've been rereading my library and donating. 12 bookshelves have been pared down to 2 plus 1 for cookbooks.
I encourage you to open 1 drawer-empty it and then discern each item as you either say yes-I use or love this, or no-it can go. Treat each drawer, cupboard and shelf this way. The less I have, the more I enjoy our home. It feels lighter, it feels better.
Another thing that helps? I joined the neighborhood FaceBook Buy-Nothing group. When someone asks for something, I discern if I have it and do I use it or can I use something else in it's place. If I can give it up, I do. It's a wonderful way to meet someone's need while lightening our load.
Just yesterday, another bag went to the thrift store. It contained about 15 items! I also donated 23 quilts made this year.
Letting go is sometimes hard. Example, I was gifted a quilt years ago and I didn't like it. We used it because it was a gift. I took it apart this spring and added to it to liven it up. But still, it was that quilt I didn't like. It went in the donation pile yesterday to get a new life with someone who will choose it. Just because something was a gift from someone you care about, doesn't mean you have to keep it. It's yours to do with what you wish.
Good luck to everyone on this declutter journey. Be ruthless.
Letting go is often times hard!!!! (for me). You have a good method - love it or toss it. Makes sense. I need to go through more drawers and closets doing that.
DeleteSounds like you have really parred down. Good for you. Thanks for the advice.
Frugality helps to decrease the amount of new items brought into the house for sure. I have a to-go section in the basement. When I come across something that I haven't used in ages, it goes there. Spring is when I take the to-go stuff to a yard sale. Like you, I can't be bothered with selling it, so it's donated. Practicality often wins over as well. If I haven't used it in 5 yrs, why am I keeping it? I've had the experience of emptying my mother's house. It's a tedious task, i.e. 30 yrs of bundled greeting cards & 15 yrs of filed utility bills!
ReplyDeleteI bring hardly nothing in (other than food). I just need to find new homes for so much. I used to have yard sales and they are a lot of work. Now I donate.
DeleteGood methods here as well. You gals have good ideas.
A few years ago I went through paperwork. ... probably 15-20 years of paperwork (old receipts and statements). I asked my accountant friend how long to keep papers, because I don't exactly trust IRS not to come knocking some day about something from, say, 2003. :( I followed his suggestions and took bags of stuff to the shredder on a shred day. It was across the county, but well worth the drive. Now I shred every year, stuff that's been put in a box saying "shred in year xxxx"). It's a good job for those long winter days when one cannot be outdoors. :)
ReplyDeleteI need to go through the kitchen cabinets and the clothing storage, I've way too much stuff - things from when I was 30 pounds heavier, things from when I had a family at home, things from my parents home. Gracious, no way I need all this!
MaryB
I hear ya!!!!! I got rid of tons of paperwork after G passed. My goodness, he kept every utility bill for years. I have accumulated more - need to do that again. Good reminder.
DeleteI have clothes I haven't work in ages - no need for those - maybe someone can use them.
Cabinets aren't bad - I did those earlier in the year. Oh, yes so much needs to go away. I guess we are in this together!
It's an ongoing process, Cheryl, even for those of us who've recently moved. Hubs and I still have unpacked boxes in the shed, along with the refrigerator that came with the house (since our side by side was still in good working order). There are different ways to look at it, though. Or so I tell myself. Here's an example...
ReplyDeleteIn 2000, when we moved to CA because my mom was suddenly widowed, there was a woman who lived next door in her 80s. She was also widowed. Her family decided to move her into an assisted living facility nearer to them, and one son came every week to go through the house and fill the trash can before trash day. Each time he left I'd see her rifling through it and pulling things out. One week he exploded. She'd pulled out various notebooks filled with clipped recipes. My (then young) sons were upset by all the yelling. I told them, "To him it's trash, but to her it's her life being thrown away." She wasn't a hoarder. She just had a lifetime of memories being hauled out to the curb.
Yes, it's best not to have a house filled with things we no longer want or need, yet there's a silent, hidden blessing in that abundance. That we *have* so much means we can give. I'm never going to have a minimalist home, but am grateful every day for abundance. Every. Day. --Elise
Thank you! I really love that outlook. I do have so much and I am so blessed. I can help others in need and still be quite content with what I have.
DeleteLife is full of tradeoffs - and 'stuff' just may be one of them. I will never have a minimalist home either - but it really is comfy!
We tend to cling to things that remind us of loved ones. I used to keep things that were given to me even if I was not fond of them. The Urban Farmer's mother would buy clothes and then wouldn't like them. Instead of returning them for the $$, she would give them to me (or throw them away). Many times with the comment "it's too big for me but I know it will fit you". Hmmm. Anyway I'm trying to clear out things and some items my youngest will use. She will say if she doesn't want it, which I appreciate. When the oldest daughter was here this summer, I sent her home with some family glassware. My girls are honest about what they will enjoy and means something to them. A longtime friend had a whole room dedicated to her I Love Lucy collectibles. After her mom died and she had to clear out that house, she decided she would not do that to her sons and sold almost all her Lucy stuff. I pretty much keep up with paperwork and found some old receipts that will be used for starting fires.
ReplyDeleteThe leaves are lovely, looking out the window by my desk. We were happy to have the rain and that knocked a few more leaves to the ground. We are headed to Lowe's to get a few more things to finish winterizing the screened porch. Enjoy your day!
I do believe you are right. I tend to link memories with things. I am so happy for you that your girls are honest about what they will use and not. Hmmm - kind of a sideways 'compliment' from MIL!!!! LOL
DeleteI just need to work on things each day and eventually!!!!!
It is chilly today - yes more leaves down after the rain. About getting time to blow/rake some!
I went to lunch with sis today - that was nice.
I don't know if this is an option where you live but we have a free swap site in my town where you can post things you want to get rid of and people come pick it up! Its so great and I have given all of my excess holiday decorations to an immigrant family with young children who appreciate it. It's so much easier to let go of things when you know they can bless someone else! It's a process, though. I like to set a 15 minute timer and see how many things I can declutter in a room ;)
ReplyDelete15 minute timer!!!! I like that! I do that with cleaning sometimes.
DeleteYes, it feels good to help others. I do believe we have a group like that - need to check. I just worry about strangers coming to my house. I will give that some thought!
Thanks
Since I retired 4 1/2 years ago I've been decluttering. You'd think I'd be finished by now, but that's a big no. Besides buying more things, mostly craft or thrift items, I'm still finding things that I ought to give away or toss. Just the other day I came across the lunch bag I used to carry to work each day. It's been put in the donate box!
ReplyDeleteAfter Christmas two years ago I went through all the holiday items and disposed of a fair amount...then I went and made a bunch of new items so it will time again to do another sort. It truly is never ending.
But I must say as I've decluttered and maintained it, I find it easier to keep the house tidy and clean - my kitchen cupboards are a good example.
Absolutely would be easier to clean and keep clean! I keep telling myself that!
DeleteI need to keep a couple boxes at the ready to throw stuff in.
I agree - never ending.
I will be decluttering until the day I die!! I have the Depression era mentality even though I was born 30 yrs. later. What if I give it away and then I need it? However, I've improved. Far more goes out now than comes in.
ReplyDeleteYep, that is how I was raised - and it stuck! I think I will always be decluttering too. I think the same things - guess if I needed bad enough - I could go buy it again! Aaaaarrrr!
DeleteI forgot. I got the Dillons ad and butter is listed on sale at 3.99! Augh!!! I counted and still have 12 lbs. left, all for less than $1.99 per pound.
ReplyDeleteI still have plenty too - yeah I watch for sales as well. There will be a sale or 2 before holidays - I feel sure of it. Keep your eyes open.
DeleteIt is hard to get rid of things. This house is small, and I still have things to get rid of. I just cleaned the kitchen junk drawer yesterday and threw away about 15 items. Now I need to do this with the whole house. I know when I cleaned the shop at the beginning of last year, I got rid of so many things I had held onto for years. I have only had to buy two small containers of beads this year and I can't think of one other thing I have needed as I got rid of loads of beads and trinkets out of the sewing drawers. We think we will need it but we don't. I can tell you that the $4.00 I spent on new beads was way less than the anxiety that keeping a truckload of sewing crap in the shop would have been. I don't know if this makes sense or not.
ReplyDeleteIt makes complete sense!!!!!! I think you are on to something there. Mucher cheaper (per peace of mind) to get rid of it and maybe need it than to look at it all the time.
DeleteI am going to do junk drawers this week. I have too many!!!!! No clue when I actually needed something out of them.
Great points!!! Thanks.
HI Cheryl, Working om downsizing to move been here 47 years. Lots of stuff doing it in increments so overwhelming at times. Good luck to your downsizing
ReplyDeleteThanks. It IS overwhelming. Totally get it. I most times go to basement to start on it and just turn around and come back up. Where to start!
DeleteI guess I feel better knowing I am not in this boat alone.
We did the Big Purge 3 years ago. Getting Husband to part with no longer useful things was difficult, but he is now (mostly) onboard. I, too, have the Depression mentality, handed down genetically it seems.
ReplyDeleteI'm proud to say I resisted a couple of purchasing temptations the last couple of days. I had thought about purchasing a Kindle e-reader, but decided that I would not get my money's worth out of it just to be able to download library books and read them more comfortably than at my laptop. I also passed up $3/yd clearance quilting fabric at Hobby Lobby today (was there for elastic to repair a thrifted fitted sheet). I really don't need any more fabric.
While the "Does this item bring joy to me?" question might work for someone who makes decisions based on emotions, that's not me. There are other, rational questions I ask myself. First, Do I really have a need for this? Second, is this item worth the money I want to spend on it? Third Is this item worth the amount of space it will take in my house? If any of the answers are "No", then I don't buy it (or if already owned, out it goes).
My biggest stumbling block is the sunk cost factor. I have to work to get past the idea that I paid too much to just give the item away. However, the money is spent and gone, and keeping the item is serving no purpose.
As for sentimental items, I tell myself that I enjoyed the item for years, it is now time to let it go so someone else can enjoy it.
If you are going to give family heirlooms to family members, PLEASE ask them if they want the item before you send it to them. My mother (with all good intentions) sent me a pair of rather large religious statues that have been in the family for seven generations. I am no longer of that religion and did not want them, but nobody else in the family wanted them either. I don't even have anyone to hand them down to. So when my mother passes away, I will probably consult an antiques dealer (they date from the 1860s), and if they don't want to sell them, I will donate them to St. Vinny's thrift store. Right now they are just taking up a lot of room in the closet. (sigh)
Cheryl, the best way to start decluttering is to do a spot that is visible so you can see the results. The hidden clutter can wait until you've had some visible successes. Don't bite off more than you can chew in any one session. Choose one small area, do it thoroughly, and be done with it. Then schedule yourself for another session in another area. The elephant is best eaten one bite at a time (ketchup is optional!)
You pose some very good questions to ask. I have gotten many visible spots cleared of a lot. That took effort over time - then one day I just said heck with it and got rid of a bunch. (still much to be seen). The basement is just so overwhelming and you are right, tiny bites or steps. We can't do it over night.
DeleteWhat a shame you can find no one that wants the statues. Maybe a church of that denomination? They may cherish them, especially since they are antiques.
Good advise.
There are so many closed Catholic churches that there are literally warehouses full of statues from them, so I don't think they'd want them at all.
DeleteNever thought of that. Good luck
DeleteOne more thought: the solution to paper is to take all bills e-statement and e-payment as well. I have everything on auto-pay as well as level payment when available which makes budgeting super easy back when we were on a serious budget. We no longer have a single monthly bill that comes paper. Receipts go into Shred when I balance our bank statement and our single CC (also e-statements).
ReplyDeleteMailbox these days is 90% junk mail (and I do use those no-junk mail signup sites) and local junk.
That is a really good idea for those who are nicely computer literate! I am not. I just have a hard time with all that. Also, it scares me - to be so dependent on my computer. I know that sounds old fashion, and it is - but so am I. I have very few bills - basically just a small handful of utilities - otherwise I get junk mail. I don't have so much, that I am worried at the moment. Thanks for a really good tip.
DeleteWhile I'm certainly not a minimalist (I like things), I do not like clutter. This is opposite of how I was raised. My parents were collectors and they had rooms full of stuff. That's how I started adulthood as well. About 20 years ago I realized that the "stuff" just wasn't that important to me, and I began purging. There wasn't much that I was emotionally attached to, so I didn't have that to contend with, it was just such an overwhelming task initially. I decided to devote two hours on Saturday mornings to this new task and once I began seeing the payoff (less clutter), I was hooked.
ReplyDeleteI hear you on not wanting to leave a bunch of stuff for others to deal with someday, but I think there's a balance. I think we should surround ourselves with whatever makes us happy, no matter how many "things" that amounts to BUT, the things we keep should be visible. If they really mean that much, then they should be out for enjoyment.
When my MIL and FIL passed their house was PACKED full of stuff. Every inch of that house had boxes and totes and bags of stuff. It was overwhelming. Eventually we just had to open the house up for an estate sale and let others go through the stuff for us. It was really too bad because there may have been some things that should have meant something in those piles, but there were too many piles! An opposite experience was when my mother passed, she had a lot of stuff too but almost everything was out and enjoyed. She and I had different tastes, so I didn't keep much of it, but it was soooo much easier to go through. I actually enjoyed it! My husband and I would laugh and tell stories as different items brought up memories for us.
I think it's important not to try and live up to anyone else's standard but at the same time, pare things down to where they can all be enjoyed. Good luck on the purging!!!
Thanks first for the good wishes! I agree, we should absolutely enjoy what we have. Packed away does nothing for us visually or really emotionally. Out of sight, out of mind. That really makes no sense whatsoever. Yet, I have stuff packed away.
DeleteI have been in houses like your in-laws was, and that is just sad. I kind of call that hoarding - may be wrong - but that is how it seems. I could not do that in any way. I have had collections over the years and have gotten rid of or slimmed them a lot in the past year.
Thanks!
Every day, I pick up something and throw it out or donate it.
ReplyDeleteThat is wonderful. Good job!
DeleteWe are slowly getting things paired down here. It is tough but has to be done. I am not a minimalist either and am now at the point where the things that are left contain memories (other than fabric and yarn). That is what makes it difficult.
ReplyDeleteHarvey is slowly giving away some of his tools to the boys which is a good thing. I will need to do the same with all my sewing machines eventually.
God bless.
Good for you and yes, it is hard. Oh my, the garage - that is a whole other story. G was a mechanic for decades and there is all his stuff! That is one for the future. You are doing great.
DeleteYES. I really struggle with this too!
ReplyDeleteI'm doing better but oh me oh my it's hard for me. I'm a creative messy type. I'm clean and all of that but have a hard time keeping house where it looks nice. I've beat myself up for years over it. I was the kid who was great in English and if you wanted help on an art project I was your girl. But my notebooks were stuffed with notes and papers!
My mil will just stuff newspapers under her couch cushion and has a nice looking house when you walk in. I even caught dishes in her oven once! She does criticize others who she deems as messy if they have dishes drying on the counter (I don't care what she thinks anymore btw) She always had maids and a nanny. The nanny part is sad I think. I think she really had some emotional deficits in her life. At almost one hundred she still goes to her nails done. (Not this kid though.) But anyhoo I digress, I would never stuff papers under my cushion or put dishes in the oven. At least not yet in my life! lol But my house looks kinda messy most of the time. I'm always cooking and sewing or doing crafts etc. I value my grandma's tea cups and aqua tupperware I have of hers, it's priceless. A lot of the people I know who look like "neaties" will give away grandchildren's precious little homemade gifts back to the parents a few years later like it's nothing but not my grandma. She had my little things carefully wrapped in cellophane like it was precious gold. So what's the balance right?
I have a lot of stuff and sentimental stuff. I'm an only child, my grandparents and parents were Depression era. My grandma and grandpa literally had a room that was once their little store attached to their one bedroom small modest little home and the "store" was full of stuff after it wasn't a store anymore. My four daughters have left me with more stuff here too. So...I hear ya. I so hear ya. We've also gone through financial struggles with my husband being in his own business and working on commission only to boot. So, I'm not so quick to get rid of stuff flippantly, it seems when I have done that I needed it later! Seriously.
I'm reading Flylady's book and love her.
Well, I'll put it this way. We might be clutter bunkers but we're the nicest people around. If the world was full of people like us with a heart, our freeway systems would be a wreck lol but we'd be nice and kind to each other! Right?
I think we have to work hard and not give up and pray for balance. Yep. That's my opinion. : )
God bless ya Cheryl.
Balance - I love that. Yes, there has to be a balance. Now my house always looks nice - I mean it is just me! Not messy or too cluttered (other than stuff). just don't look at the dust or cobwebs, or open the drawers and closets!!! That is where the clutter is.
DeleteI still have a huge tote of papers from mom's - she passed in 2001!!!!! Probably don't need any of it - it is just tough to get rid of.
We have lots of decisions placed before us, don't we? I do love the idea of choices and balance. That makes it seem a little better.
Thank you!
I’m starting back up again with decluttering- it’s a never ending process! I’m finding that my strength and energy are quite a bit less so I would encourage people to get started as soon as possible. I have the attic emptied but now I need to do the basement. My goal is to have nothing down there but appliances and a few holiday things. I have a long way to go- I find that I can only declutter for a little while before I get overwhelmed. It used to be so much easier!
ReplyDeleteAll of this decluttering going on ... I just returned from our annual "girls getaway" in Fort Myers, Florida and purging is no joke. The area where we stayed had minimal damage and, what was damaged, had been quickly cleaned up. But we drove thru areas that, one month later, were still littered with curbside piles 6-8 ft. high and running the entire width of their property. One guy noted that he had everything in Rubbermaid bins on shelves in his garage, stored 5 ft. off the ground. The only time they'd gotten water was during Irma, and that was only a foot or two. He learned that, unfortunately, Rubbermaid bins float and tip over if the contents are light, and sink if they are full and heavy. All his albums -- record and photo, were in those bins and he was trying to take cell-phone photos of each page in the albums from his high school athletic days, wedding, and his children as they grew from infant to adult. He also lost a lot of family memorabilia that was stored on those shelves, too. After a 9-11 ft. storm surge that pushed through his garage doors, it's now sitting on the curb. Food for thought -- if your place flooded, how big would your curbside pile be? I'm going to be more attentive to sorting and purging, so it won't be sitting curbside some day.
ReplyDelete