Being self sufficient or self reliant is what many strive for. I don't know what that means to you, but to me it has always meant pretty specific stuff.
I have always thought it meant living off the land. Grow and raise all your food. Provide for your needs and maintain without outside help. Being independent. Being able to provide everything you need. A home with it's own water system, electric grid (or none), it's own heat system, etc.
Is that what you think?????
Well today I want to get you thinking about a different kind of self sufficiency/self reliance. So much is the same - but the reasoning is sooooo different.
Many of you women can relate AND men as well!
You are suddenly alone. Whether you are widowed or divorced - it is you and you alone. There are many things that 'some' women have never done or had to worry about. Car maintenance, home maintenance, carpentry, yard work, etc. Many gals have never been involved in finances or money management - yes that still happens!
There are guys who have no idea how to grocery shop, cook, mend, do the laundry or maybe even clean house.
Now that you are alone - your are self reliant and have to learn much and do much.
- There is no one to work things out with - no one to toss ideas around with - no one to help make decisions
- You have to deal with HARD things alone
- You need to be in control of money management, banking, investments, financial decisions of all sorts
- You need to be safe and secure. Whether it is re-thinking how you live in your home (windows, doors open/close), locks, security systems, or other means of security (self protection)
- You need to take care of yourself if ill. Always aware of being safe and healthy
- You have to be the problem solver
- You prep alone - you also learn there are several meanings to SHTF!!
- Repairs are on you - or you hire it out. Car maintenance, home maintenance, appliances or HVAC or yard equipment
- Yard work is yours
- Have to take care of all the legal stuff - taxes, insurances, changing names/ownership of things, designating benefactors, wills, funeral prep (for you)..............
Now there are many who have been fortunate enough to have learned many of these things during their lives. I was fortunate to know how to do a lot myself - only because I needed to so as to be helpful in my marriage. BUT, I had hubs there to guide me and give me instruction. That meant a lot.
Sure we all have friends, family and neighbors that may help - but most often you have to ask. No one is aware of all your needs. Truthfully I would rather hire something done than ask for a favor. That is just me.
Your new "self reliance" means LEARNING new SKILLS and new KNOWLEDGE on all sorts of things.
You will need to trust your own instincts and ideas. Be an individual and don't conform to what everyone THINKS you should be. You can do anything!!!
Go forward toward your goals and go forward bravely. Gain confidence with each new thing you try and master.
LOVE YOURSELF. Know that you will screw up at times and know that you will be victorious at times - just be kind to yourself. Self acceptance is huge!
As we get older - self sufficiency means something new. We have to go with the flow and move forward.
As you can see - being self reliant or self sufficient because you are now alone - is very much like being self sufficient as a homesteader.
You have to learn new things, you have to work hard, your have to make important decisions, you gain skills, you make mistakes and you win some, you are independent, you need to learn to provide for your needs.
You are ALL important in every action of every day.
Learn that important phrase - ME, MYSELF, AND I!!!!!!!!
Is it easy? Nope!
Is it fun? Not really.
Is it important? YES - it is of the upmost importance
AND YOU KNOW WHAT? It is satisfying when you accomplish what you thought was impossible.
Sadly, most of us will go forward and experience this new lifestyle. No one wants to - but it is inevitable.
My suggestion to you - learn all you can now!!!!!! Be involved in all aspects of your life. Make sure your husbands do the same.
Self reliance happens to men and women!!!!!
Just remember - YOU CAN DO IT!