Tuesday, June 15, 2021

Not to Worry - Be Happy and BE Yourself

 OK  who is singing that quirky little song now???   LOL
Just a small post about just being you.  It seems today so many people seem to think they need to empress others.  Not me!!  I could care less.  You like me, fine - you don't, well that is fine too.  Life is just too short to be worried about what others think or trying to 'keep up with the Jones'.  I may have done that in the past - NO MORE!

I spent a lot of years trying to please others and live like I thought they expected me to (not talking of my hubby).  Not any more.  It sure did nothing to make me happy.  It did nothing for my self confidence.  It did nothing for my LOVE of myself.  Today - you get what you get.  Take it or leave it.  I really don't care.
Maybe age has made me a little wiser - I would like to think so.
I have also realized that that everything can change in an instant - and BOOM - the reality you had, just changed.  You have to make a new reality (as hard as that is).

Now if you are married, I realize there is some give and take.  We all made allowances for our mate.  That is what you do.  Marriage is compromise. That is wonderful.
IF you are single - well kiddos - things change.

If you want to wear PJ's all day - that is OK
If you want to leave stuff on the counter - that is OK
If you don't want to make the bed - that is OK
If you want to eat junk for dinner - that is OK
If you want to go to bed early or sleep late - that is OK
If you don't feel like cleaning house today - that is OK
If you want to turn up the music crazy loud and dance - that is OK
If you want to keep a stack of books next to your chair - that is OK
If you want to watch stuff nobody else watches - that is OK
If you want to have a cocktail - that is OK
If you want to sing in the car (and really can't!) - that is OK
If you want to splurge now and then - that is OK
If you want to cry and yell - that is OK

If you just want to be YOU - that is 100%  A - OK!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               So true - nobody gets out here alive! 

Quit worrying about what others think.  You have a life to live and you and your creator are the only ones that need to  be pleased with your life.
Live a good life.  Live a fun life.  Live a life of giving.  Live a spiritual life.  Live a life that does you proud.

Just maybe some day 'they' will say - "She sure knew how to live and gave it her all".
That would be a nice legacy.

JUST LIVE
BE HAPPY
STOP THE WORRY


36 comments:

  1. Fabulous Cheryl, just what I needed to hear, thank you my dear.
    Pam in Texas.x

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  2. Yes, yes, yes. But we also need to remember that there are consequences to our actions. So, do as you please, just know that there are consequences. And, I agree with all but #1 -- PJs in the home only, unless you're an infant or being brought into the hospital on a stretcher by ambulance.

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    1. LOL - I have never spent a day in PJ's - but it is perfectly fine w/me if someone wants to! NEVER went out in them!!!!!!

      I agree - we need to be mindful, but still enjoy life for all it is.

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    2. I've been caught up in the 'what I eat, do I drink enough water, exercise, how much sleep am I getting'...I'm going on 59 in a few months. And let me tell you....I NEEDED this post. And I also agree with Lori K. up there. But!!! Not everyone knows how to balance a "cheat" day (say diet plan) well, so we go OVERBOARD and the emotional damage/nerves does more damage than people who've not suffered these can know.

      Balance. I've been orthorexic since I'm 14.

      Been a Christian since that age, as well.

      So both of these....your post, Cheryl, and Lori's wise advice are very true.

      Plus one more: aside from food....folks like myself can also get caught up in cleaning their home/apartment to the point they cannot enjoy going out unless their abode is "perfect".

      Thankfully, I've never had this problem. It is the same coin, different side.

      Thank you...thank you...thank you.

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    3. I do see you did add about the housework, just wanted to reiterate that ;)

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  3. Yes yes and yes!!! It’s takes awhile to realize this. I wish I had figured it out sooner!

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    1. I know. I tried to please everyone for so long - when I could have just been me!

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  4. Loved this post, you are so uplifting and make me laugh. Thanks again for the ear worm

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  5. I agree 100% with your post. I lost my son 3 months ago and even though I don't talk about him all the time sometimes I want to share a memory or funny story about him. I am sorry if this makes some people uncomfortable but I NEED THIS. I don't open up to most people and have sure found out who were my friends and who avoid me. My husband says I have too high of expectations for people. Actually I don't have any expectations other than be a decent person and treat others as you would like to be treated. I know hearing about me losing my adult son unexpectedly probably makes others feel like - Hey this could happen to me. I pray it never does. This is not something I ever wanted to do or a club I ever wanted to join. It is hard and yes I am sad - but I have good days and memories too. Anyway, sorry to go on but I agree - people can like me or not - it doesn't matter to me. It is their choice. Take care.

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    1. Sweetie it takes a looooong time to even begin to get normal again (whatever that is) after a sudden death. I know.
      You talk about him all you want - if it makes someone uncomfortable too stinking bad!!!!!! Seriously!

      I am over 2 years in on losing my hubs and I mention him every day somewhere to someone! Do I care if they don't like it - NOPE.

      Your expectations are what we should all have - expect people to be decent and kind and practice the golden rule.
      You are right - not a club you want to join nor do you want anyone else to join.
      We understand here - talk all you want.
      HUGS

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    2. Cheryl - Thank you so much for your kind words. I even "talk" to my son and my dad every day. You can't just forget anyone that you have lost that is such a huge part of your life. It does help when I can share a good memory and I see it is helping my granddaughter (his daughter). 21 is such a young age to lose your parent and he was the one who had custody and raised her. Every once in a while she talks about her dad or posts a picture of him that she loves. My mom said you don't - get over it - it just gets a bit easier but you still miss them. It's like a hole is left in your heart that only they can fill. It has been 6 years and my mom still misses my dad so much. We share stories and laugh about our different things we remember about him. Take care and thank you again. I know you lost your husband suddenly and I admire you and how you strive to live a good life even while missing him. Keep the good memories alive! Take care.

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    3. So true - you do not get over it - easier yes. I think about and talk to Glen each day. I tell him funny things and serious things. Shoot I still talk to Mom and Dad and that has been a whole lot of years.
      There are many here who have had sudden losses. We have each other. There is NO right or wrong way to grieve.

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  6. I think as we age we all begin to get better at just being ourselves. I still have a ways to go to totally cut loose!

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    1. I doubt I ever CUT LOOSE!!! But I am a work in progress and that is good!!!!

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  7. LOVE this!!! And huge hugs going out to Crystal ~~~

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  8. For Crystal
    I’m so sorry for your loss. I remember after my I lost my mother, a lady saw me in the store and told me about seeing my mother out in the yard raking. She did that a lot. But just that little memory she shared with me meant so much to me even after many years later. It helps us when someone remembers our loved one. Blessings to you.

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    1. Sharon - it does help. A friend of mine lost her small son and she said it is so nice to be able to talk about him after 5 years. People are uncomfortable and don't seem to want to hear about your child but if that is the case she told me it just feels like your child's life was erased.

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  9. I gave up trying to impress people years ago. Take me or leave me, I am what I am. I have a few good friends that I cherish and who accept me for who and what I am, that is the important thing.

    We can always do with a reminder of this so thanks for your upbeat and positive post.

    God bless.

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    1. Good for you! Much happier I bet you are!!!!!
      Thanks you and blessings.

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  10. Comparison or trying to please others (unrealistically) is a joy-thief. Finally getting it about "this is me, like it or leave it!" Just a beginner, though ;). As someone said above, the friends who accept you as you are are to be treasured. Bless you, Cheryl and bless you CRYSTAL HANKEY.

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    1. Good description!
      Good friends are to be cherished for sure.
      Blessings

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  11. What you see is what you get! I am polite to folks but I certainly don't want to curry their favor if it goes against who I am. Over the years I have found one of the worst places for comparison and unacceptance: the local church. Which is a crying shame because that is not what Yeshua taught.

    For Crystal: If it helps you with your grief, remember those sweet times with your son. There is no time limit on mourning.

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    1. Isn't that the truth. The reason I choose to pray and study at home. I had so many bad experiences over the years - so many fake people. God hears us no matter where we are.

      Thank you - NO time limit!

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    2. Donna - Thank you. I was blessed that he moved back to the area I live in and was here for the year before he passed. He was a chef by trade and we had so much fun shopping and cooking together. We have always talked a lot about anything and everything and that is one thing I really miss. A few days after he died I sat down an wrote out all the good and happy things I could remember off the top of my head about my son. I will keep adding to it as it helps when I get really down. Thank you.

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  12. I think one positive thing to come out of the Pandemic is that a lot of us have had to give up "looking perfect" - very few of us look good on Zoom and no one has had a haircut up here in a VERY long time - plus I learned the hard way that lipstick and masks don't go together!
    Non-essential shops have only just been allowed to reopen but with severe restrictions (and all stores that open must have an entrance that opens to the outdoors - so no malls and while I would love a new pair of white sneakers - there is no way I'm standing in line for hours to buy them - I'll make do with what I have for this Summer. I only go into the office for two mornings a week and hardly see anyone so who cares!

    I'm laughing at that cartoon - I poured myself a nice glass of wine before this evenings Zoom meeting and thoroughly enjoyed it!

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    1. I forget how to use make-up!! LOL Sure didn't need to for ages - no one saw anything but eyes! You are right, lipstick and masks don't go together. That's funny because I did the same thing.
      We have no restrictions to speak of here now. A few places 'ask' patrons to mask - but no mandates.

      A nice glass of wine can hit just the spot!

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  13. Loved this post! I definitely think that one of the best things about getting older is you realize you can be yourself and really don't care as much about what others think of you. It is so freeing.

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    1. It sure is freeing. I wish I had done this years ago.
      Thank you!

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  14. Oh my! YES YES YES!!!! I love this and it fits perfectly with my life now. Yes, it would be wonderful if I still had my hubby, but since I do not, living life as a widow is good. We cannot control what fate has put on us but we can control how we deal with it. So like you, I am having the time of my life just living it the way I want. And not having to do something just because it is suppose to be done that way is such a freedom. I love wearing Cuddle Duds around the house when the weather is cooler. And I love not having to fix dinner at a certain time and eat when I get hungry. I love just sitting and crocheting or reading a book when I want. And I love sitting on the deck when it is too hot to cook. You have to live the life you have been given. And getting older just makes us wiser. Feel sorry for the young ones out there. They look at us like we are crazy. But if they are lucky to live this long, they too will understand. Thank you for this post today. After the year we have endured, we all need this. Love it!!!

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    1. Thanks. Yes life changes and we have to change too. Our paths almost never end up where we thought they would. That is sad in many instances - but we have to charge ahead and make the best of each day we have been given.

      Like you - I eat when I want, what I want, sleep when I want, or stay up late if I want. I would LOVE to have hubby back, given the opportunity - but not if were going to be unable to enjoy life with me. That was what made it all special.

      Today - charge forward and make a new tomorrow.

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