I have to admit that we have NOT done our will yet. Every time we talk about it - it seems we have a disagreement! LOL. If we had birth children there would be no question. I do believe that we have finally come to a consensus of what to do and a will is happening this year.
We do have everything we own in both of our names - so that makes life a lot simpler (in our state) as spouses, if something happens to one of us.
We have many things with beneficiaries added in the event that something would happen to both of us.
G decided to make some forms of his own that enables us to list all important information about banking, insurance, property, etc.
I advise EVERYONE to have some place that ALL your info is together for the sake of your survivors.
I know we all think if there is a will, that is all that needs to be done. Not really - especially if you are incapacitated for some reason or medical attention is needed, etc. I know with just us, that I am not sure exactly where everything is (without going to safety deposit box), like what policy is here or there, and so on.
If you make up a set of forms PLEASE REMEMBER to leave the info off of them while they are on your computer!!!!! You sure wouldn't want someone strange having access to all that info if your were hacked. PRINT BLANK forms and write in your personal information.
We are keeping a copy here (so I have easy access) and we are giving one in a sealed envelope to a trusted family member (our soon to be executor) to keep. He will be instructed to only open in the event of the last death (of G & I).
There are kits that you can get at many funeral homes, that have forms you can fill out similar information on, to help your heirs. If you have an estate lawyer - they probably have forms as well.
I just feel like it is a good idea for WHOEVER is left to have everything (as far as info) all together.
The first big purchase we made together after marrying was our cemetery plots and headstone. Romantic aren't we??? We still keep talking about pre-planning and paying for our funerals - but the only time I feel certain that will happen is when there is only one of us left. I don't want to put that burden on anyone else.
I know a lot of people don't like talking about these things or even thinking about planning for an event of death. They just think it is gruesome or creepy. Just remember - you are at your MOST vulnerable when someone close passes and people CAN and DO take advantage.
Sit down with your partner and get things in order. Make sure that you both know where all your policies are, where all deeds and pertinent information is. Have copies of each other medical insurance cards.
G has medical issues that would limit types of treatment he could receive safely, and that is all written down for me, and in a place that I could grab it, if emergency help was needed. It is a good idea that you have this info with your children as well. We can't all remember everything, especially in a stressful situation.
If you have a special wish that something you own, go to a certain person (jewelry, heirlooms, etc.) - PLEASE make sure your spouse knows. Hopefully they will follow your wishes. If you don't vocalize what you want done - it may not happen.
Please just take time and get your life in order. It will help those left behind without a doubt.
This is something that I need to do as well. Thank you for the reminder, Cheryl.ReplyDelete
You are very welcome. I just think we all need to be prepared!Delete
Such good advice! Thank you!ReplyDelete
My Mom and Dad took care of all their prearrangements, and it made it easier on us when we lost them suddenly.
I filled out a living will and medical power of attorney when I was going through cancer treatments. We bought will forms from Legalzoom, and I have filled mine out and had it notarized and witnessed, but dh hasn't done his yet. I wanted to make sure our kids would have someone responsible looking out for them if something happened to both of us. But I can only take care of my part, and hopefully dh will get his paperwork done.
Kathy good job on living will and POA - I forgot about that.Delete
I am glad you have your part done. I hope your hubs takes care of his quickly. We all want to know our wishes are going to be met.
We used Legal Zoom too and our bank notarized it for us for free. We provided a copy of our will to each of our daughters once it was finalized and answered any questions they had. We keep all documents and legal papers together in one box with a listing of contacts (such as for retirement accounts, bank accounts, etc.) and set up a separate savings account that is designated for the executrix (one of our daughters) to have separately from our other accounts. We added the daughter to this account and put in the will that this account was hers alone to cover her time and expenses for handling the execution of our will. My in-laws have a pre-paid burial plan that has everything all taken care of, but at 92 and 95 they have outlived almost all their families and friends, so it seems like it will be a very big production for very few people. Better to plan your funeral and be able to make changes as you age, but not pre-pay it except for your burial plots. I really don't think they would want such an elaborate affair if they were planning it now, but the money is already spent so "the show must go on" so to speak.ReplyDelete
You and Kathy both mentioned Legal Zoom - so I am definitely checking that out. Thank you both for that.Delete
It sounds like you have your ducks all in a row. G and I both want our funerals simple - 1 day event - simple arrangements - least expense possible. No sense on spending huge money, that could better help someone living.
I bet your in-laws never imagined life would be this long and so many would already be gone. But good for them.
We had a will done when our oldest was little. When she turned 21 we redid it naming her custodian of her brother and sister. She knows where everything is(it is all together). My oldest sister is an attorney and has a copy as well. We also did living wills a few years ago. Hubby and I have talked in length in what the other wants. We both have life insurance to make sure the other is taken care of financially. It is not a fun conversation but as adults we needed to have it.ReplyDelete
Glad you are prepared No not fun - but necessary.Delete
Excellent post! I would add that special needs children must be considered as well and this is particularly (and understandably) difficult for parents. Provision of care, health decisions and living arrangements are just the tip of the iceberg. Thank you for giving us pause today, Cheryl. We all need a reality check from time to time and this isn't an easy topic.ReplyDelete
Melinda that is a real concern. That would be difficult for any one. Just having children, would make things so different.Delete
Sometimes we just need a dose of reality.
Thank you for your advise.
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Jeff and I need to do this as well. We do keep all our legal papers, insurance policies, etc. in one place and all the kids know where that is. We still have yet to write out a will and need to get on that now that we have grandkids. I know I will be getting an inheritance at some point and I would like to make sure that if there is any money left when Jeff and I are gone, that it is equally divided up between the grandkids to help them pay for college or trade school.ReplyDelete
Debbie, sadly I am sure many of us will be getting inheritances. I say sadly, because we all know we would much rather have the people than money.Delete
So wonderful that you want to assure the grands have money for their futures.
We need to make a pact to get this done!
We did this a couple of years ago when B went on his "Run for the Wall" ride. Glad it's done.ReplyDelete
Laurie I am glad you have some things done. I agree, anytime ONE is taking on a long trip or a dangerous activity, special plans should be in place.Delete
Of course we don't know what tomorrow may bring.
Glad you have made a good start.
We did this a few years ago. Our Will is with our solicitor as are the titles for the house. We only have two children so when both of us are gone they will inherit equally what is left. I have worked with my aging parents on their will. I am one of five children. I have had Mum write down who will receive particular pieces and to sign that form. Dad has done the same with his various collections. This way there can be no argument when the time comes.ReplyDelete
Your advice is sound. Now it is time for the legalities to be dealt with.
My folks did that as well. A list of special items that each was to get. Rest was to be sold and divided equally.Delete
I am glad you have prepared and that you have helped your folks.
we can make our requests known - but we do make it legal as well. Thanks.
We did this ten years ago and it made us feel so much better. I'm glad your getting it done. I kind of like to preplan my funeral but I'm on the fence. Maybe like you say when one of us goes first I'll do it. I don't think it's creepy at all we are all going to go so we might as well plan for it.ReplyDelete
Absolutely. We aren't getting out of here alive. I just don't want to make someone else go through all that. I had to help decide too many times, and it isn't fun.Delete
I am so glad that you are prepared.
We also finally got this done. Our local lawyer offered our children a discounted price if they followed on after us and put their affairs in order. Sadly they did not but now they both need to! One is married and has a house and the other is getting married soon! I guess I can point them to Legal Zoom as so many on here have said.ReplyDelete
Once we had our funeral plots purchased, I felt a big sigh of relief. Now I know where I live now and will be 'living' after I die! LOL!Delete
Glad you have taken care of things. When we are younger, it just isn't something we want to think about.Delete
when we paid f our plots and stone, they asked if we wanted the stone placed - NOOOOOOO. I said I don't want to see my name on a stone!! LOL Time will come someday.
We will be "living" with Mom & Dad and my brother - so we will be in good company! LOL
We've been working on this a little and trying to keep our adult children informed of what's what. We have our plots, but no headstones. I keep hoping the Lord will come back, so we don't need headstones. :-))ReplyDelete
I am glad you are starting to make plans too. I am glad that your children know what is going on too. Our marker came as part of a 'deal'.Delete
Powerful thinking there girl!
Just thanks for this Cheryl❤️. Not just for the good advice but for your way with words- you have always been so well- spoken. I have made many starts on this get-the-affairs-together project - this post is my catalyst to actually complete the process.ReplyDelete
Susan how kind of you. I appreciate your words.Delete
I hope you get started and make the process 'easier' for those that follow.
Maybe we will all need to check in on each other in a few months to see how far we have come!
My husband and I need to do this—especially after my cancer scare.ReplyDelete
We ALL need to do tis. The same thing could happen to any of us and I would hope it would just give us a little peace of mind. Life is so unpredictable.Delete
Hope you are feeling well.
This is so important.. My daughter in laws mom died of a heart attack at 60.very suddenly, she handled all their business and personal stuff, in their home.Her husband was at a loss. It really made me realize that I needed to get our things in order.. I made what I call a lifebook [note back, that I can add paper/paper covers to insert items in.].. I put references to where all of our policies/ birth certificates, insurances, burial policy, all of our business needs,etc. It took me a long time to complete it, but now, as any new business or personal thing [such as change of doctors or meds]I go and update.. I don't want my husband or children to have to go through what my DIL's family went through..
Have a great day
ps... We also, preplanned our funeral, bought grave plots, and even bought our tombstones..[The kids really didnt like that part... Will not go look at them.,lolDelete
Judy so sorry for the sudden loss. we just never know. My mom was the same way - dad took care of everything. She didn't even know how to write a check - never had the need. We had to take care of things and teach her a lot.Delete
G takes care of much here - so it is very important for me to know what is what. "Lifebook" is a name I like! I think we will call ours that!
So glad you are planning ahead.