Today I am going to tell you a story. It is a true story and a sad sort of story.
FIRST - background.
I live in an older (1947) neighborhood. It is mostly quiet. It is older but nice. Everyone takes care of their homes and yards. We are mainly an over 50 (age) neighborhood - with the exception of about 4-5 families. Our block is a very long block and our houses are fairly close to each other. We front porch sit, we 'fence' talk, and most everyone has pets.
Peace has been the normal for years.
The house 2 doors down from me, seems to have trouble keeping people. When people rent there - we have not had good luck. There is almost always something that happens there. It is a nice well kept house and the rent isn't cheap. (Realize we do have several rentals around and they are all long timers). Personally, I think the house is being 'haunted' (so to speak) by the original homeowner. She was very particular - but she was a nasty/hateful woman. She died there. It seems there is just bad energy there.
OK - now up to date.
We have a woman and her 3 children (approx. 8, 11, and 14) and her boyfriend living there since March 1. MOST of the time the kids are ok - but other times they are a horror story! They can be so disrespectful and they cause fights with other kids. These kids ALWAYS start it. (there were never fights before EVER). The language that comes from their mouths is horrid!!!!! They are OK as long as an adult is home - but often both adults are both gone.
Mind you, it has become known that the boyfriend is an abuser (to them all). She has been with him 6 years. He has lost 4 jobs since living here (March). He has cut grass twice since March!
They young couple next door have kind of become confidants to the kids. That is good - they need someone to turn to. So we all hear the stories. We all try to be kind to the kids and speak nicely to them and use moments to 'teach'.
Sunday the young couple was camping (I watch the dog). The kids were home alone. I am in my house on the phone and hear all kinds of commotion outside (2 doors down). The person on my phone call even asked if everything was ok. (that loud).
I hang up and decide to go out and adult!!! These kids and some from the next block were carrying on. The other kids were there - though not being loud or abusive. I went out on porch and told them to leave and told the neighbor kids to be quiet and get inside.
20 minutes later - it all starts again (this is the worst altercation since they have been here). Younger boy had a metal baseball bat and 11 year old had a hammer. Older girl was in the street screaming at the other kids and name calling and cussing. The other kids even said that a knife had been pulled on them as well.
I tell the other kids to get home or I would go talk to their parents and I would call the police on ALL of them. Well, they left and haven't been back! (smart kids). The other kids, started giving me grief. I told them this crap was going to stop and it was going to stop now. Threatening people and carrying on like that in what WAS a peaceful neighborhood, wasn't going to tolerated any more. Next time I will call the police! Older girl was like "so - go ahead". I told them I was going to talk with the adults when they got home. She says "Mom is almost home". Knowing myself I would NEVER say anything to the boyfriend - I said how about I talk to the man of the house. "Mom is almost home" kept being said!
Mom shows up and doesn't even get out of car until the girl is at the car screaming - "we didn't do anything, they started it, not our fault...….." AND "that mean old b**^^ said she would call the police". They then get in the car and Mom drives off - she really didn't want to talk to me!!
Yep - guess that it my new title!!! "Mean old b**^^".
Mom sees me standing in the drive. Does she tell the kids to be quiet - no. Does she come and ask me what happened - no. Does she tell her daughter not to talk like that - no. Does she apologize to me for what her child has said - no.
I don't really care - I just know this whole situation is so sad. These kids have been raised to think this kind of behavior is ok and normal. There is no discipline from Mom whatsoever. IF there is discipline from boyfriend - it is REALLY BAD (from what we hear).
I can't tell you how creepy all the neighbors think he is. Like wouldn't be surprised if there were bodies in the basement creepy!!!!!
I tell you IF anyone one of us actually witness him do something bad to those kids - police and CPS will be called. No one here is going to tolerate that. We just haven't actually witnessed it.
I guess my point is - this is my quiet little neighborhood. One family - managing to disturb the peace of it all. Just one - stop and think how many times and how many families this is in reality!! This happens all over the place. MAYBE this is why so much bad stuff is happening every where.
I just wish parents would parent, and teach their children respect and manners and teach them to be good people.
So sad. The whole situation is sad.
Sadly, many people came out of their houses and were standing on porches watching and listening and nobody else said or did anything. That saddened me - why wouldn't you stand up to and for kids?
If standing up to these little bullies (and obviously big ones) and reaching out to parents and even police brings back peace to the neighborhood - I guess I will wear the badge of MEAN OLD B**^^ proudly!
Keep your eyes open and reach out when possible. You just may be the one that can make a difference.
That is so very sad, Cheryl. i am glad you took a stand but I hope it doesn't come back to bite you. I have called CPS twice in my life after witnessing bad things happening. The one mom never forgave me-the other one was glad that someone had finally stepped in to intercede. It is hard to stand up to bullies-even kids-because it puts you in a dangerous/vulnerable position. I am proud of you an hope they move along soon and bother some other neighborhood. xo DianaReplyDelete
It is sad. The young couple now know what happened and they have my back as does my neighbor on the other side. He wasn't home that day.Delete
I don't think they will last long - I do know some have complained to the landlord already.
Sometimes we just have to take a stand. I am vigilant of my surroundings for sure!
When Mark and I were first married, we bought a house across the street from a small apartment building. One night we woke to a woman screaming. We looked out the window to see the man on the second floor trying to throw his girlfriend out the windlow.ReplyDelete
I called the police, they took him in and from that day until the end of their lease, every time she saw me she would scream hey there &^$%%& *%#^) (which wasn't quite as polite as your new title. Hopefully they move on...
Oh my goodness! It is unbelievable that some people just DON'T want help. Well, coming from a teenager one this end - I guess I get it. Just hoping maybe they will think next time.Delete
I hope they move on too!
This is so sad Cheryl. Some women just can't be without a man and attract the worst kind. Those poor kids, but without neighbors they don't stand a chance. I am sorry you have to live with that.ReplyDelete
I feel for the kids immensely - they have no clue what normal really is. I know some women have 'battered woman' syndrome and just can't break free - but those poor kids.Delete
use your phone next time and record it all! Then talk to the authoritiesReplyDelete
I don't have a phone that does that. We have all seen it with the kids and the fighting. I am just afraid of what those kids could do - that could affect them forever.Delete
Welcome to my trailer park. No, really. My title was "The Witch", and that was only because the kids were preschoolers. Now it is probably much worse, though it has not been said to my face. I have had vandalism, physical threats, nails in my driveway, graffiti on my privacy fence, etc. Be very careful and watch your back and your property, and your cats (poisoning, etc.). Complaining to the landlord MAY work to get them evicted sooner, but laws make it very difficult and time consuming, especially if it is a Section 8 property. Be especially careful if they are minorities. You may bring on even more unwanted attention for "discriminating". I did, even though I did not know the young teen in question (who was trespassing and vandalizing my property) was half minority. Don't be surprised if the parents start harassing you, too. Be especially careful around the man. We have a couple around here who are abusive and violent, and he is a drug addict. Calling the police to ask for extra patrols may help, but the police usually lose interest after a while. Unfortunately this behavior will probably continue until they are evicted. Keep your protection close at all times. I mean it. Prayers for your safety.ReplyDelete
I am sorry you have had to go through that. No minority and no section 8 in this case. The rent is quite high really and I don't know how she can keep up. That is our hope that she can't and gets evicted or just leaves. Yes, it can take time and be difficult.Delete
The other neighbors have talked with her about the kids.
No one talks to him, nor has he talked to anyone. It is just a feeling with him that creeps everyone.
I am sure that this isn't new behavior, as the Mom told the neighbors they left their last neighborhood, because of the 'neighbors' kids!!! Uh-huh - no one believes that.
Between the young couple next door, my house and my other neighbor - we have alarms that can't be avoided - so know if someone is trespassing we know. They have no clue, nor would they know where the are!
I am so sorry. I'm glad you have some good neighbors who look out for each other. Your own neighborhood watch. Hopefully someone can get through to those kids, but if not, I hope they move somewhere else.ReplyDelete
I hope someone gets through to them as well - for their sake.Delete
This is a good neighborhood and we all watch out for one another and help each other whenever we can.
I am sorry you have this problem. I had very good neighbours in my last home and I do miss them. Thankfully it is peaceful here so far. When I was a child we all knew everybody else in the street and there were a few rough families. My mum would usually sort everybody out and was respected and called on to help for any problem. I'm sure your kind firm approach will have an effect on these kids in the end.ReplyDelete
I really love my neighbors - most have been here for years. Just a bad egg once in a while.Delete
I hope that between everyone, something good will happen.
They just need to know by adults that this kind of behavior is not acceptable.
At this rate, it is going to be a very long summer. Even though you and your neighbours haven't observed anything, I wonder if the family isn't already known to CPS. Might be worth a call just to give them a heads up.ReplyDelete
Take care and I hope the kids settle down.
Oh they have been out once - not sure who called. They took the word of adults and left. The lady says nothing against her boyfriend - classic battered woman syndrome.Delete
They are known I am sure. It is just so sad.
Every neighborhood has them at one time or another. You have my sympathies. You're probably looking at future residents of our penal system, sadly. Their parents sure don't do them any favors.ReplyDelete
I know. That is what scares me - a little boy already welding a metal baseball bat - what could happen in the future. I don't see bright futures for these young people. Breaks my heart.Delete
Seems like there is one in every neighbourhood. I have one two doors down from me. However it isn't kids (which I could probably handle better) it is the adult woman. Drives the rest of the neighbourhood batty.ReplyDelete
You make a good point - I guess it could be worse. Adults do whatever they want - at least there is a small chance in helping these kids.Delete
If these children are under the age of 16, it is already a CPS issue if they are left alone over night. If they ar enot emancipated minors, there needs to be oversight. Perhaps a note slipped politely in the mail box letting them know what the CPS criteria is, and give mom a cahnce to figure out how to parent. No favors are done though if they are literally at risk if he is as bad an adult as you say.ReplyDelete
CPS is aware of the situation and they have done nothing. They have been to this house already one time since March. The man is violent and Mom will not speak against him - so she is endangering the kids as well. It is a very sad situation. The kids are afraid to speak up to authorities I believe.Delete
Wow, what a mess. Those children do not need to be in that house with an abusive person, nor does their mother. Situations like this perpetuate other bad situations on down the line. My granddaughter turned 14 this week and she has had loving and supportive parents and it shows in her life. Imagine what those kids are going through and how bleak their future is as all of this will affect their lives forever. Be safe, my friend.ReplyDelete
it totally breaks my heart for them. That is why the neighbors all watch out and at least try to correct them and let them know this is not acceptable behavior.Delete
Not much future for them if things don't change.
I read this yesterday and did not comment! What a world we live in...used to in this neighborhood, people would feel free to correct your kid if it needed it...I even swatted ones behind while talking to the mom...she did not bat an eye...we just kept on talking. Not swat to hurt...but swat to get the attention.ReplyDelete
We have rental property on both sides of us and have had some terrible neighbors. The ones we have now are not bad but their yard is junked up terrible. But I can live with that. The ones before them I think had two kids, and nothing was safe here. They got in my mail once, and like we will take the spray thing off the hose sometimes and lay it on the hose...the boy would get that and take off with it or anything that we laid down. They tore off every bloom of some of my flowers. Roger saw them once and yelled at them and marched them home and told the mom what was up...she sent the girl over here to apologize...I did not accept it...I told her I did not want her apologies...she didn't mean them.
Then the kids were over...I could not sit on the front porch without they were over. And the mom came over talking. One of them had something paper...I don't remember what it was. She watched the child tear it to pieces and let it fall to the porch. She said, Come on kids, lets go home...I told her hold on a minute..make them clean up their mess! I guess I am a 'B' too.